My Avian Adventure :D

alright so

i should probably talk about more avian shit here than just using this as a diary other people read (not even that LMAOOOO 5 VIEWS????)

so yeah i shouldn't keep using this entirely as just a journal and i should talk about more avian things. but i also don't have much to say. let's see, i need to organize my sub playlist, i need to add to it so that it's long enough for me to use while sleeping, i need to learn how to meditate.

ok that might be the problem
for context, i'm going to get checked pretty soon for ADHD, i CANNOT meditate because of that. how the fuck do you focus for that long.
not just that, but my posture is also bad and getting worse, i might have scoliosis. i have the fucking tommyinnit posture /lh do you really expect me to be able to sit straight. sitting up feels really nice because it's kinda like stretching my back but i don't even know how to do that.

my lack of meditating meaning lack of biokinesis is probably the reason i've had absolutely no progress for an entire year. i've only been listening to subs and ofc, you can't grow fucking 25 foot limbs from those alone.

when i first found the community, google failed me since i was trying to find actual pictures of other's successes, i mean i wouldn't post mine. but i'd also not even put my voice on the internet so i don't get a stance on that. i was reading someone else's journal today and they said something like "dm me if you have proof or progress pictures so that i could meditate to it and have a solid idea of what i want" mate i've just been wanting to know that what i'm doing is real??? how do people have such a solid understanding of what's real and what's not. 

recently i've tried to find an avian discord server, but with no luck. i did find one, but it's basically dead and the conversation is of something that sounds of fantasy, but obviously isn't yk? either way i've got no fuckin clue

and for another update, i might be starting a yt channel !! named Tommy Flyaway, but you probably won't find it yet, for i haven't uploaded. all i need to do at least is film and give my small amounts of editng wich is pretty cool at least.

wtf i hear birds but i can't see them

and i also just found a HUGE FUCKING ANT on my wall which is concerning.
to top that off there's also the biggest spider i've ever seen right above my head

but it's only a long legs so i'm not afraid of it or anything
it's a friend :D

i'm more concerned about the ant because my room's kinda messy and i don't want ants half the size of my finger wandering around in here those have gotta hurt.

alright back on topic

i need to update this more, but i can't figure out what to rlly do. i'm also stuck with my progress. just to get a bit more of a solid understanding of things, i'm going to make a little list of things i wanna do with wings.

-cosplay philza | i hear that your wings are your hair color, unless there's reason for them not to be, and my hair isn't black, so it wouldn't look entirely accurate, maybe i should cosplay grian, but me and my friend rlly like phil so i think having a cosplay for a winged character that I CAN LITERALLY FLY WITH THAT IS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING

-explore | idk where, i just wanna look around places, especially the sky

-see if there's more to the clouds than it seems | this one makes a lot of sense imo. like the sky is such a big part of the world, there's got to be more there than just clouds. i've seen proof that there's more, there has to be

idk what else, there has to be more, but that's my first thoughts

i think that's all for today ? my apologies for writing really long chapters, i don't even have much progress, idk how i manage to do this. i have some other ideas for some chapters too, and none of them are directly related to my own progress. i hope i can get that yt channel up and running at least, so that i can write those things there instead of clogging here. and i still need to draw myself a cover that isn't fucking tommyinnit, since my name is tommy, and the big man is on the cover, that's what it looks like D:

anyways, thank u for reading :D pls go drink some water i love you /p less than 3

-bayani