Don't Care If I Sound Crazy (A Daltiana Story)

~Chapter 101~

two months later...

I paced back and forth on the bathroom floor, waiting for the longest three minutes of my life. Dalton held my hand and caressed it, trying to calm me down. I felt really fatigued the past few days, I hope it's a sign that I'm pregnant.

"I'm scared baby," I said quietly and he wrapped his arms around me. Three minutes passed. It's time to check. I picked up the pregnancy tests and looked at them. There was only one line on each test.

"Still negative," I started to cry and he held me tight. We had been trying for five months now, but I still couldn't get pregnant.

"I'm so sorry," I cried.

"Don't be sorry baby," he cooed.

"I-I wouldn't b-blame you if you choose to l-leave me because I couldn't give you another c-child," I cried.

"Don't say that baby, I'm not leaving you even you can't give me another child. I promised you that on our wedding day, remember? I vowed to always love you and be by your side through our ups and downs 'till death do us apart," he said and softly kissed my head. He picked me up and carried me to our room, gently placing me on the bed. Seeing me in this state, Imogen, who was playing with Leonel, frowned. She probably already knew what's going on, since this had happened over and over for the past five months.

"Don't be sad Mommy," she said as she wiped my tears away and I kissed her head. She and Dalton gave me a hug and I eventually felt better although I was still wishing that I'm pregnant.

"Mama," Leonel said, coming closer to me. He's a little later than Imogen when it comes to talking. Imogen began talking early, no wonder she's chatty. There's also a big difference between them. Imogen called me and Dalton Mommy and Daddy, while he called us Mama and Dada. He said his first word last month. His first word was poo. It was hilarious.

"Hi little man," I lightly smiled.

"Poo," he said. He must've needed a diaper change. I lifted him to check his diaper and I was right.

"Eww! It stinks!" Imogen complained and I chuckled.

"Looks like little man needs a diaper change," Dalton smiled, taking a clean diaper. I stood up and placed him on the changing table. I threw away the dirty diaper, cleaned him up, and put the clean diaper on.

"Mommy, I need to pee," Imogen said and I nodded. We went to the bathroom and I helped her get her pants off before helping her get on the toilet seat. When she was done with her business, I helped her clean herself and we washed our hands. Back in the bedroom, Dalton was cuddling with Leonel on the bed. They're adorable.

"Say Dada again," Dalton smiled.

"Dada!" he squealed, making both of us smile.

"Immie," he pointed at Imogen. That's how he called her. She snuggled next to him and kissed his head.

"I'm glad they're getting along really well," Dalton smiled. "Me too."

"Mommy, I think he wants boobie," Imogen said, "he's sucking his thumb."

I picked him up and lifted my top. She was right, he immediately latched onto my nipple.

"You're right Piccolina, he's hungry."

"You're starting to understand your little brother well, huh?" Dalton smiled.

"Of course Daddy," she said proudly, making me and Dalton smile. She's gonna be turning four in a little over two months. She just started kindergarten and was always excited to meet her friends. Her teacher said that she's the brightest student in her class.

"Whoa, slow down Leonel," I chuckled as he sucked on my nipple quickly. He looked at me for a few seconds and began sucking again. He began choking and immediately placed him on my chest and tapped on his back.

"Should've listened to Mommy next time," Dalton chuckled. I positioned Leonel back on my nipple and he began sucking again, gentler this time.

"I guess Mommy knows best," I giggled.

"You're right," Dalton smiled.

***

"Mommy, I had a bad dream, can I sleep with you and Daddy?" Imogen asked with puppy eyes. "Sure."

She got in bed in between me and Dalton. Her heart was still pounding. Her nightmare must've really scared her.

"Mommy, I'm scared," she said quietly.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked her and she nodded.

"I had a dream that you're in the hospital after you tried to die," she answered, her voice shaking. My heart broke. It had been two years since my suicide attempt, but the trauma was still haunting her.

"I'm here Piccolina, I'm not going anywhere," I cooed, wrapping my arm around her small body. I sang her a lullaby and her heart rate and breathing started to slow down. I ran my fingers through her hair and she fell asleep on my chest. I softly kissed her head and fell asleep a few minutes later.

***

I woke up to the sounds of my alarm the next morning. It's seven in the morning, meaning it's time to get Imogen ready for school. Dalton woke up and went downstairs to cook breakfast and pack her snacks, while I woke Imogen up and brought her to the bathroom.

"Mommy, I'm sleepy," she mumbled.

"I know Piccolina, but aren't you excited for school? Don't you like Mrs. Lewis?" I asked, turning the warm water on.

"Mrs. Lewis is fun, but Sally is mean," she frowned. "What did Sally do?"

"Sally says I'm ugly," she pouted. My poor baby, she already had to deal with bullies.

"I'll talk to Mrs. Lewis later."

"Okay Mommy."

I showered with her and when we were done, we dried ourselves. I chose a cute outfit for her and helped her put it on. I got dressed and we went downstairs for breakfast.

"I made some waffles for you," Dalton smiled, "I also packed blueberries and gummy bears for you."

"Thank you Daddy," she beamed.

"You're welcome little princess," he smiled. We sat down and began eating breakfast. Just then, I heard Leonel's cries. I stood up and went upstairs.

"Mama," he cried.

"You're okay, little man, Mama's here," I carefully picked him up and placed him on my chest.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him. "Yes Mama."

"Okay, let's eat," I smiled. I brought him downstairs and placed him on his highchair. I took one of the small waffles Dalton made and put blueberries then gave it to him. He had figured out how to eat on his own.

"Mommy, can you take me to school today?" Imogen asked.

"Sure," I smiled. Dalton's usually the one taking her to school while I took care of Leonel. I guess we had to take turns today. We continued eating our breakfast and when we were done, I placed the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Ready to go Piccolina?" I asked her. "Yes Mommy."

"Can I have a kiss before you go?" Dalton asked her and she kissed his cheek.

"Bye Daddy, bye Leo," she said, kissing Leonel's cheek.

"Be safe babe," Dalton said, kissing my lips. "I will, don't worry."

I grabbed the car keys and helped Imogen get into her safety seat. I got in the car and buckled up my seatbelt before driving off to her school.