Let Me In (gxg)

23. The Letter

Madison's Pov: 

I hear two doors close. I look out the window and see Delaney and Michael. I was planning on leaving soon, but I didn't want to leave without her knowing. I open the door for them and Michael comes in first walking to his room. I look at Delaney who is still standing outside. "It's your house you know you can come in," I say making her laugh. She comes in and wraps her arms around my waist. I wrap my arms around her shoulders. "Thank you." I look down at her and she just hugs me tighter. I'm not sure why she said thank you but I'll go along with it. 

-Time skip to Madison at home-

I walk into my room and lay down on my bed. I wish I could tell her how I feel but I know she doesn't feel the same way and it hurts knowing that. I'm stuck in the friend-zone. I wish I could talk to someone about my feelings but that's impossible. I would talk to James about it, but their on a date with Matt. I could talk to my mom about it but I'm not sure she would understand. I sit up and start to look around my room. I know for a fact it's somewhere in here. I open up my closet and look on a shelf. "Here it is," I say out loud. I grab the notebook and flip through it. I never wrote much in here. There are letters to different people that I wish I could talk to. One of them is to Robin Williams. I wrote it the day I heard he died. Another one of them is to my Dad who walked out when I was little. I also have one to Zayn the day he left One Direction. And another one to One Direction when they split up. I opened to a new page and grabbed a pen. Since I can't talk about my feelings to Delaney, I might as well write them in a letter. 

Dear Delaney,                                                                                                                                   
This letter is about my feeling toward you. You will hopefully never receive or read this letter. I've had feelings toward you since the 4th grade. I don't know what it is about you I like to so much. Maybe it's your captivating eyes, contagious smile, the way your presence lights up a room. It all just seems to good to be true. Your the kind of person who you see at the mall and never forget. Your the side character that everyone loves. Although in my story your the main character.  Even when you're not trying you look beautiful. I could care less that you used to bully me or even will continue to in the future. People say when a crush lasts more than a year it's love. It could be true about me. I mean it would make sense why even after all the times you hurt me my feelings for you never burn out. My feelings are like a constant fire. You think you're pouring water on my fire but really you're lighter fluid. I really hope you've never noticed because that would be very, very embarrassing.  You're probably too caught up in your own world to even notice that you are my world. To think that if I lived in a different state our went to a different school I wouldn't be writing a letter to my life long crush which you'll hopefully never get. I remember Freshman year I was sitting in Health class waiting for it to start. You came rushing in to class with seconds to spare before being late. You quickly sat down at the desk in front of me. You were so flustered that you dropped your backpack on my foot. You quickly apologized without even looking at me. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have apologized if you knew it was me but you were to caught up to even notice. You kept on searching for something but I wasn't sure what that was. You turned to the person next to you and asked for a pencil. They shook their head. You turned to the other side of you and the desk was empty. I got a pencil out of my pencil case and gave it to you. You gave me a weird look and took it. Now that I'm thinking about it you probably were wondering why I would give you pencil. You gave it back after class but didn't say a word, not even a thank you. I still don't know why you started being nice to me. My optimistic side wants to say you might have feelings for me. But then my pessimistic side says that you just want a good grade on your science project. Hopefully I'm right with the first one and not the second one. Being used is one of my biggest fears and if it was you that used me I'm not sure I would recover. You are like a poem, beautiful and sacred. It hurts that you are my whole book of poems, whereas I am just a chapter in yours. 

Love,
Madison

Hey yalls. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The letters will be a recurring thing and I promise they will get better as time goes on. Anyways, have a good day or a good rest of your day. Eat and drink something.

-Baddest Bitch Alive