Let Me In (gxg)

38. New Favorite Book

Delany's POV:

I get to school just nearly on time. I see Mads standing in the hallway and think to yesterday. She is so cute when she gets flustered, stop saying that you're crazy, but no wrong, she thinks to herself. 

Mads sees me and quickly walks away not even realizing that she dropped her notebook. I quickly go and pick it up for her but before I get the chance to say her name she is out of sight. I open up the notebook trying to find out what subject it could be for so I can give it to her that period. Not like I have her schedule memorized or anything. 

I look at the first page and it has a letter Zayn Malik dated back to 2015 in slightly messier handwriting than her usual kind. I continue to flip through the pages. The notebook is almost full of writing and it all looks like letters. 

My movement stops when I catch a glimpse of something. The bell rings loud in my ear signaling I'm already late for homeroom. 

I stick my finger in the page to not lose my spot and walk to the place I know the best. I quickly lock my stall door and open the notebook back up. It turns out my eyes did not deceive me. There it is in big letters. Dear Delany.  She wrote a letter to me. I start to read it:

Dear Delany,

I'm back because if I told you how I actually felt, you would run and I can't have that happen because I need you. I always wished and always wish we would be more than friends but we won't. So now I'm stuck in a place where we are more than friends, but less than lovers. Our eyes fine each other in a crowd of laughter. A high-five always ends with our fingers interlaced. Our hugs last a little longer than they should. Out of all the eyes mine have met, yours seem to be the most beautiful and captivating. I am scared to do anything more because I'm scared of losing you. It would be a lie to say I'm happy with what we have now. It would be the truth to say I'm afraid of my feelings, solely because you have someone that you have feelings for, someone who isn't me. I'm afraid of losing you, so I'll settle with this for now. But I lay awake at night wishing you were next to me. Texting and deleting "i love you" has become a part of my routine. I write letters that I'll never send because it feels like I'm talking to you, but in reality I'm talking to a fictional character in my mind who loves me the same way I love you. But I'm stuck here because we're not lovers but just friends. Sometimes I think about telling you how I feel but I couldn't dare losing you to something I said. It would kill me if you left me. But I guess you already have for someone else. In my mind he's non-existent. It's just me and you. We are the only ones there. Things pass by like cars on a highway. But we don't notice those things because we only pay attention to each other because we are all we need. But I am always reminded that it's fake when I look at one of the "cars" and it's fear, doubt, Elijah, Collin, some person I don't even know. I go back to look at you but you're gone. It's almost like you're in one of those "cars" as well. I would try and catch you but you would always beat me because I will never be able to catch you because you'll be too far ahead of me. I would get in a car to chase you but that would mean that my love for you would be in the same "lane" as everything that is stopping me from loving you and that scares me far more than telling you how I feel. So I settle with writing letters to you about my love because you will never get these.

Love,

Mads

I drop the book on the ground. I feel tears brim my eyes, threatening to come out. I never knew that she had these feelings for me. I truly have never had anyone have such strong feelings for me and it feels slightly overwhelming. I have this feeling where I would risk everything for her. 

~timeskip to the end of the day~

Mad's POV:

I walk out of school and hear someone say my name. I look over and its Delany waving me over from her car. Reluctantly I walk over to her. 

"If you wanted to kidnap me you're gonna have to be-" I get cut off when I see her holding me journal. 

My heart falls to my feet. I don't know what to do, if she read those any sense of friendship we may have had is completely gone out the window. I will go back to being the loser that she bullies. What if she already told the whole school. 

Seconds start to feel like hours. After 5 seconds I regain my composure and start to ask her a question. 

"How did you manage-" I get cut off again, but this time by her. 

Sorry if I forget to mention that I was cut off by her lips. SHE'S KISSING ME. I don't know what to do I freeze. After another small heart attack I finally reciprocate her kiss. 

She pulls back from the kiss with a blazing smile and shimmer in her eyes that I haven't manage to notice before. "I'm really sorry that I read this because I know that its personal but I couldn't help myself. I want you to know that I also have feelings for you, hence the kissing you. I guess that I always kind of overlooked them because I was to scared to except them. I always thought it was a lie when people said that people are mean to you because they like you but that was my whole reason for bullying you all along. I wanted any chance to be close to you, so I did so by being mean, which I am very sorry for-" 

I cut her off with another passionate kiss. I lean her against her car door, grabbing her waist for stability. "There is no need to apologize at all. If I'm being honest I loved it because I got the chance to be close to you," I said, my cheeks starting to hurt from all the smiling I was doing. 

"I never took you to be a top," she says looking up at me. I look down and realize the position we're in. Before I can even take a step back she grabs my waist and holds me in place. "It's ok, I like it."

I blush like a freak. She takes her hand off my waist and pokes my cheeks, laughing slightly. "I can get used to this," she says, making me blush again. 

"I know this is a little early, but will you by my girlfriend?" I say, using every ounce of confidence I have. 

"I don't know, I'm kind into this one girl. She's the most beautiful person I ever met and a really good kisser."

"Oh is she now?"

"Yes," she says while pulling my head down so my lips meet hers again. "I would love to be your girlfriend," she says against my lips. 

Happy Last Chapter Everyone. It may have taken a few years to finish this book but I hope you all enjoy. I wouldn't have finished this book if it weren't for all of you. 

- Baddest Bitch Alive