Let Me In (gxg)

32. I'd wait for you

(play song)

Madison's Pov: 

Dear Delaney, 

I'd wait millions of years for you. I would do anything for you. Nothing can change the way I feel about you and I hope you know that. You are my everything. I'd run miles just for you, and I hate running so fucking much. You are the one thing that pulls me down to earth. You are my gravity, without you I would be floating among asteroids, and foreign universes. You know what, one of the saddest things is when two people really get to know each other. Their secrets, their fears, their favorite things, what they love, what they hate, literally EVERY FUCKING THING. Then one person catches feelings. They hide it, knowing that if they told the other they know they wouldn't be on the list of things they love. Even if they were on the list of things they love, it would only be platonic. I have my heart in my hands wanting to give it to you but I know you wouldn't hold it close to your heart. You would put it in a pocket or place it on a shelf, as though it was a trophy. As if you own me. I have to laugh, cry, walk, and talk with you and act like I don't love you because I know you don't love me back. Each time I go to text you "i love you" it turns into a "gm" or "gn". I haven't told anyone about the way I fell because if I do it would be like betraying you in a way. It would be like saying Happy Birthday to someone else on your birthday. I would feel like I'm betraying you. So instead of talking about it. I write these letters you won't ever read or even know of because you don't feel the same. I stare at the stars because it gives me hope that you could possible be looking a the same stars as I am even though you're not next to me. It's almost as if I am a prisoner in your jail. I'm just another person wishing I could be with you. Most people are in there for a week, month, year, or maybe even a few years. But my sentence is for a lifetime. I sit in my cell hoping that eventually I will get another trial bit I won't. I just wan you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, and sarcasm. I want you to chase after me. I want my movie scene in the pouring rain. I want you to show up at my house unannounced. I want to hold hands in public. I want love letters from you. I want songs sung together. I want to sit on a beach and watch the sun setting then stay up all night to watch the sunrise. I want to stargaze. I want to be missed when we've spent too long apart. I want nights together. I want planned futures. I want playful fights over where to eat dinner. I want picture of us laughing together. I want the right side of the bed. I want nights in together. I want nights out together. I want 'i love you's' whispered against my chest as we fall asleep at night. I want surprise dates. I want someone who's not able to take their eyes off of me in a crowd I want someone who's not able to take their eyes off me in a crowd. I want goodbye kisses. I want to made to feel special. I just want someone to fucking love me. Everything. I just want you. But you don't want me back. I've come to terms with that because there is nothing anybody can do for you to love me back. SO i sit here with my heart in my hands wanting to give it to you but instead I hide it. I put it in a box and tuck the box in a far away place because if you don't have it, no one should. Maybe one day I will think of someone else when I hear your name. But it will be a long time before that. See hell sent us the most dangerous and evil disease, and us humans call it love. 

Love, 
Delaney

I sat back with tears in my eyes. Fuck love, am I right?

Love ya'll.

-baddest bitch alive