Let Me In (gxg)

27. Is this love?

A/N: I would like to sincerely apologize that this one day is taking 7 chapters, including this one. But there will be like two more chapters after this one of the same day. My B for making it so long.

Madison's Pov: 

I walk in my house and jump on my couch. Once I land on it I feel something hard underneath me. (that's what she said. sorry) I sat up and looked at was underneath me. I found my notebook that has my letters in it. I open it up to the one I wrote to Delaney. 'It wouldn't hurt to right another one right,' I thought to myself. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a red pen. 

Dear Delaney,
I never knew the feeling of loving someone romantically. It's a foreign feeling to me. I only know the feeling of loving someone platonically, like my mother or grandparents. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I love you. Wow that feels weird. But I guess seeing you with him really struck something inside of me. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. But I know that I love you. I'll never get used to saying that or even writing it. I'm confessing my love to a piece of paper. Never thought I'd be doing that either. You know what else struck me when you were with him. There will always be someone else. I'll never be the first person you run to. I'll never be your first choice. I'll be the second or maybe even third. No matter what I'm not the first person you think of. I probably sound like a hopeless romantic, side character.  Why do I love you? I don't have an answer for that, but I guess it's the vibes you give me, the smiles you put on my face, the laughs I get from talking to you, and just the fact that you can make me think of you even if we aren't talking at that moment. I honestly cannot say there's an answer to that, but I will say that you are the reason I'm happy each and every day. You are the reason I get up in the morning. You are the reason why I come to school everyday. And if I never stop loving you just know, I died living for you. Maybe in another life, you'd feel the same about me. But for now I'm stuck with wishes, hopes, and what if's. I guess I'm okay with that. There might be a slight chance that I'm in your mind as well. You're always in my mind, but never in my arms, the wishes flood back, but in the end they're just wishes. So I sit here writing you this letter wishing that our love story will be picked up by someone and they'll read it and wish for the love that we might have. But that won't happen because our love story has one chapter. The author stopped writing because it became too much work. It would be far too long for anyone to enjoy. There might even be a sequel to our love story but it would end with one of us getting hurt. Because one of use will realize that we would give the world to the other and the other wouldn't notice. The world wants good for me and you but not us. I feel as though I should be satisfied with that but I'm not. It's like saying a glass of water is a meal. It's not a meal although some of wish it was. Our love wouldn't be love. It would be like a job. We'd do what we have to do to get by. Do our chores to get paid. We wouldn't put in extra work because then it would be too much. It would almost be useless. We'd be breaking each other consistently. What am I even saying. You wouldn't even let any of that happen. I wouldn't either, cause the thought of me hurting you kills me. You don't even think of me like that, hell you don't even think about me. You're so involved in everything else to notice that when I look at you everything else in the world stops. Everything in the world is black and white, except for you. You're in screaming colors. I should just stop talking or writing whatever it is that you would call this. 

Love, 
      Madison

I walk upstairs and set my notebook down in a place no one will see. I walk to my comforting bed and lay down. I stair at the ceiling letting my thoughts take control, cause who needs sleep when you can overthink. 

Hey everyone. Hope yall enjoyed that. I'm sorry that it was a lil short. Also don't ask where this came from because I don't know what demon or angel took over while writing that. Anyways, hope yall have a good day or a good rest of your day. Don't forget to eat and drink something. And remember I luv every single one of u. 

-Baddest Bitch Alive