The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards gxg) Part 2

Chapter 2

Beth's POV:

I was tapping my fingers against my steering wheel.

Do I really have to go meet this woman?

I sighed and let my head fall against the steering wheel. I've been parked in front of her office for ten minutes now. My appointment is in 3 minutes.

"Come on Beth. You've got this." I whispered to myself.

I gripped my neck to release the stress and then let go.

I shook my head and took my key out of the ignition, "Fuck it."

I locked my car and went up to her office.

I knocked and a woman who I assume is Dr. Neil opened the door.

"Ms. Fields?" She asked. I nodded.

She smiled, "Come in." She said and opened the door wider.

I stepped in and she motioned for me to sit on the chair in front of her desk.

Her office was pretty much what an office should look like. Nothing extraordinary.

"Alright... now I'm not gonna lie to you, I know a lot about you through the media as you are one of the most famous person in the UK. So luckily you won't have to revise your history as much, only your feelings and thoughts." She said.

I wanted to give her a sarcastic remark but kept it to myself.

"Ms. Fields, you do have to talk if we wanna make any progress today." She said.

"Sorry." I said and tried to keep the sarcastic undertone low.

She nodded and started with her questions.

"Tell me, how has it been being in the public eye?" She asked.

I frowned. What does that have to do with anything?

"Has it's advantages and disadvantages." I said.

"Has there been too much pressure for you at some point?" She asked.

"Yeah, few times." I said.

"What did you do when it got that far?" She asked.

"What exactly do you mean?" I asked.

"Like what did the hate and criticism make you do? What did it trigger?" She asked adjusting her glasses.

"It made me angry. It made me want to hurt myself. Trash my house. It made me want to do a lot of things." I said.

"Did you ever hurt yourself?" She asked.

"Because of hate and criticism no. Not intentionally. I thought about it, but didn't do it." I said.

"What happened unintentionally?" She asked.

"One time I read loads of hate comments at night. Made me run out of my flat and run across London. I tripped while running and twisted my ankle as well as managing to get some bruises. And I laid there for about an hour in the cold at 3 am." I explained.

She nodded and wrote down some notes.

"Well, did you ever hurt yourself for some other reason?" She asked.

"Once. But it wasn't even that much of hurting. I just kind of..." I trailed off not knowing how to explain.

So I just demonstrated how I pressed my arm to stop the blood flow and how I made it bruise. Well I didn't actually do it again but showed her.

"So you stopped the blood flow in your arm?" She asked.

"Yes but I didn't want to actually hurt myself. It didn't hurt. I just needed to let my anger out somewhere and I didn't wanna destroy my surroundings." I said.