The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards gxg) Part 2

Chapter 23

Beth's POV:

"Jade Thirlwall!" Selena and Elle announced.

I took a sip of my drink which by now is the sixth.

Let's just say after watching Perrie perform I certainly needed the numbness.

She seems to be doing great.

"Oh my god..." Jade said holding the award.

I sighed and poured myself another drink.

Why am I doing this to myself? I knew I'd be miserable if I watched this.

Especially live. The fact that if I'd go there right now I'd see them again. But I have no intentions of going out in the spotlight.

Of course the AMA'S had to be right in the city I live in.

LA, where everything happens.

I gripped my glass tighter. This isn't how my life was supposed to be.

Every time I think about it I still can't believe this is how I end up most of the time.

My odds were awesome. I had an amazingly loving family. I used to have friends in primary school, but then we grew up, I became an outcast since I wasn't able to keep up with them money wise and Kristen saw that as an opportunity to make herself feel better.

Then I started building an illness that I just can't fucking get rid off and that is still bothering me. My family started becoming very worried about me, going to lengths making my biggest wish come true, only for all of them to die in the night.

After that I went to audition at the X Factor, not even believing I would get through, but once again my luck and ability got me through. Not only that I won with my group, meaning my odds to have a good life were high again.

But no, after that I had to have endless fights with myself if I should stay and make their life's harder, her life harder. I had to try and mend my relationship with my father, only for him to end up dying as well.

Then I finally had happiness through her and them. I had a little family again. I trusted them. Another sickness came, my tumour, and then it was removed but made me forget everything complicating my life again. During all of that I also had daily fights with my managers who mentally screwed me up worse.

After I understood that I didn't grieve any of my family members properly I turned to drugs which caused a big misunderstanding between me and Perrie, which then was the last push for me to try to commit suicide.

Then I had to break up with her which was bad enough. And in-between that my supposedly dead brother showed up once again making my life a little better.

But in the end I moved halfway across the world and barely talk to him because I'm not able to behave like a normal human lately.

Then after years of keeping it secret me and Perrie came out as a couple when suddenly the entire world somehow welcomed Little Mix. That turned out to only be a plan to break us up which obviously worked.

Now, I'm all alone again.

I threw the glass against the wall. My odds were incredible. How the fuck does ones live turn out like this with these odds?

I exhaled shakily. Turning the TV off I stood up and made my way to my home gym. Before letting my anger out like this I should just box the sack. It helps anyway.

Putting the gloves on was always annoying but I once made the mistake to not do that and broke my finger.

Punch after punch were thrown. All I could do was imagine all the tragic events from the past.