bad company || B.E

i will

billie's POV:

after driving around for a bit i decided to drive to the spot i usually go to when i need space away from people. i went to this park out of town. there's the park area that's grassy filled with benches. there's also a lake surrounding it. and then there's a playground in the middle of the area.

i got there and took my ukulele out of the backseat. i walked over and saw a few kids at the park, probably around seven years old. but i walked over to the bench closes the water and sat down.

i tried to not think about anything but it was getting really hard. i feel like i screwed everything up. i shouldn't have reacted like that. but also i don't know what else i could have done. i couldn't hold in my emotions anymore.

i wanted to not think about it so i just started strumming on the ukulele. the only way to get my feelings out was to sing them out of me. so that's what i did. i started strumming and once i got a melody, i started making up some lyrics.

i think i better go
i never really know how to please you
you're lookin at me like i'm see through
i guess i'm gonna go
i just never know how you feel
do you even feel anything?

i sang. then i didn't really know what else to do so i just did some da da da da da da das to fill in the rest.

i started to tear up. god why did i run out like that? why is she still so attached to him? why is everything so fucking complicated? i wanted answers but i kept running away. i kept strumming and making up lyrics.

i know you're not sorry
why should you be?
cause who am i to be in love
when your love never is for me?

i was still tearing up and then i heard rustling next to me. i turned my head over and i saw two little girls behind me. i wiped my tear off my cheek. "hi guys." i said smiling. the younger girl smiled and started touching my hair. "your hair is blue." she said. i laughed, "yeah it is." the older girl joined the conversation. "you sound like a princess." she said.

they were absolutely adorable. "well thank you, that's very nice of you." the littler girl was still paying with my hair. "i've never seen anyone born with blue hair before." she said. "well i wasn't born with my hair blue, i have blonde hair but i colored it blue." i explained. "i want my hair blue." she said. "you'd look pretty cool." i said smiling.

i began strumming again as the two girls watched me. "can you sing that song again?" the older girl asked. "yeah.. sure." i said. i paused trying to think of more lyrics. they sat down in the grass in front of me. then i started strumming again.

you said, don't treat me badly
but you said it so sadly
so i did the best i could
not thinking you would have left me gladly

then i contributed what i had sang earlier.

i know you're not sorry
why should you be?
cause who am i to be in love
when your love never is for me?

the little girl started applauding and the older girl tilted her head to the side. "did somebody hurt your feelings?" she asked. i laughed. "a little bit, but it's not her fault." the little girl stood up, "who's fault is it then?"

i cant believe these little girls at a park are interrogating me about my love life. it was actually very interesting the fact that they were so intrigued.

"somebody else's." i said. i felt weird giving them too much information. the older girl stood up. "we'll get rid of that other person. you don't need them in your life." i nodded "yeah don't worry.. i'm trying." i said.