Dating a Star

Chapter Thirty Three

Heading into the living room you find Chris sat on the couch looking at the magazine in front of him. The picture splashed across the front page. Closing your eyes you take a deep breath and clear your throat.

"Hey." Chris stands and puts his hands in his pockets.

It takes every ounce of strength not to walk straight over to him and kiss him. Instead you stand with your arms crossed in front of you again.

"I know your mad at me, you have every right to be mad. I know I've been distant this week. But it's not what it looks like. Becs the girl in the picture she is just a family friend." Chris explains quietly.

This was his excuse. You wished this was the truth but in reality all you could imagine is that Chris had moved on with someone better than you.

"Chris come on, I don't care if you've moved on, we've known each other for eight weeks. Its hardly long enough to make a connection. But you know. You know about my trust issues. Everything that happened with Nathan." You reply pacing ther floor behind the couch. "I told you that I couldn't go through that again. I thought that you were different that you would never do anything to hurt me."

"Nell please don't say that. I love you." Chris blurts out.

You stop pacing for a moment and look at Chris. He is still standing with his hands in his pockets looking straight at you. This was early. Surely this is too early. No you liked him as well, you loved him too.

"What?" You ask quietly.

"I love you. I know that it may seem crazy but I do. I love you." Chris says again.

He moves towards you, grabbing you by the shoulders he looks you deep in the eyes. Looking up at him you close your eyes for a second to think about what he has just confessed.

"I don't expect you to say it back. But I just hope that you believe everything I'm telling you. I don't want this to change us. I still want you to move in here. I hope you still want to move in here." Chris says quickly.

You can hear the panic in his voice. The concern that you don't believe him or feel the same way. You can hear the hope that you do believe him and that everything is going to be okay between the two of you.

This was all too sudden, everything that had happened this week just sent warning signs through your mind.

The vision of Nathan in bed with another woman sprang into your head. You couldn't go through that again. The immense hatred of someone. The pain of seeing him with someone else. When you saw that picture of Chris and his friend all those feelings popped straight back into your head.

"I can't go through this again. Chris I can't go back to being that paranoid girl who doesn't trust her partner. I love you. I think I have since our third date but honestly I can't go through the hurt again. I didn't come here to find anyone. I was ready to work on myself. God damn it Chris why did you have to walk into my life!" You almost have tears in your eyes.

"I'm not going to do that to you. Nell I love you. I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I wouldn't do that to you. I couldn't do that to you. It would break me as well as you. This was nothing. She is a friend we bumped into each other and we went for a drink to catch up. The paps were hounding me and her more so. After my relationship status came out on Jimmy they have been waiting to see me with someone. It was just a case of being in the right place at the wrong time." Chris responds hugging you against his chest.

You begin to sob into his shirt. Putting your hands around his waist you take in a deep breath and control the sobs.

"When I saw that picture I said to myself that I was done. But I know I'm not. I know that I would've struggled to turn off my feelings for you like I did for Nathan. That proves to me that my feelings for you are stronger than they ever were for him." Wiping the tears away from your cheeks you move further into the room.