My Future Stepbrother

Chapter 104

Chad just drives. I sit in the passenger seat with my head pressed firmly against the glass window next to me as I attempt to use the regular purring of the engine as a melody to slow my breathing.

It’s not working. We’re only a few streets away from the Manor when Chad pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car.

The silencing of the engine finally let’s the sound of my rapid breathing fill the air and I sense how my efforts to calm myself have been fruitless.

Chad unclips the seat belt he’d plugged in for me a few moments ago and wraps his arms around my waist to pull me into his lap. I lay my head back against the window and feel Chads flat palm against my chest.

“You have to breathe Ally. Okay? Just like this..” He breathes deeply, pushing his hand down slightly on my chest then lifting it in rhythm.

I try to lock my vision to his and slide my hand through the open buttons of his shirt until it sits over his heart so I can follow the pattern of his heartbeat.

I can feel as the oxygen begins to fill me once more and all the tension held within my muscles finally releases its hold on me. Chads eyes laced with worry, never leave mine as silent tears continue to fall.

I learnt quickly when I lost my mum that grief isn’t constant, it arrives like waves, hitting you down as the crashing sea threatens to drown you before it is pulled from you once again, only to return with a vengeance when you least expect it.

As my breath slows and the shaking ceases I feel this wave drawn away, for now.

There was just one nagging thought that filled my head, one I was trying to push away but that kept returning...

Was this my fault?

“Better. Look beautiful, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but I just want to make sure you’re okay? What did Jayce do? Did he hurt you?” His hand leaves my chest and rests over the one I have pressed against his, the thin shirt all that separates them.

Yes. He hurt me. He hurt me in a way I didn’t even think he was capable of hurting me. The betrayal, the pain. I’ve never felt anything like it before, true and total heartbreak.

My eyes started to well again at the feeling and Chad took my face in his hands and kissed my forehead.

“I’m going to kill him.” He raged.

Shit.

“No. Don’t, please... it wasn’t him.” I wasn’t completely lying. That man I saw standing in the spot that has meant so much to us with a cheerleader hanging off his cock didn’t resemble the man I loved at all.

“Are you sure?” Chads questioning tone showing how he didn’t believe a damn word I was saying.

“Yes. You know... that boyfriend... I.. had.. I caught him in the house... with a girl.” I sniffled between words trying so hard to keep it together now I had my breathing back under control, I wasn’t ready for the next wave to hit yet.

“ Oh shit. I’m so sorry... Maybe it was a misunderstanding? Maybe you just caught him at a bad moment or it wasn’t what it looked like or something?”

Was he seriously trying to stick up for a guy he’d been hell bent a few days ago on trying to get away from me? Or was he just trying to make my pain stop attacking me by painting a rosier picture?

“Definitely not a misunderstanding. He’s probably still trying to wash her cheap lipstick off his dick. Kind of hard to misinterpret that.” I could sense my anger finally starting to move towards the surface. I didn’t want to feel sad, I wanted to get pissed, but I just wasn’t there yet.

“Fuck. Is this guy a fucking idiot or something? He has you, a woman with a heart of gold, body sculpted by the gods and a fiery personality to match and he’s going to risk it all for a quick slide down some chick’s throat? He’s a fucking moron. Sorry Al, I know you care about the dick, but he is.”

I tried not to laugh at his little out burst but my lips involuntarily lifted up slightly at the corners. Chad laid my head down on his chest and pulled his arms around me.

I sighed slightly into the comfort of him as the question that had been nagging at me finally surfaced again.

“It’s not entirely his fault. He asked me to stay away from you, asked me to never go to your house. Then I turn up to the party late because I fell asleep.. on your bed. Maybe he was just so angry he-”

“Ally stop. Don’t be that girl, it’s not who you are. Don’t be the girl who blames herself when her dickhead of a boyfriend can’t keep it in his pants. You fell asleep bellissima, you did fuck all wrong. You were tired and you fell asleep, it isn’t an excuse for him to do that to you. Stop blaming yourself. Now.”

He was right, I’d made a mistake but it wasn’t a betrayal. It was an accident. I’d never hurt him on purpose, I’d never do anything that would crush him like he did to me, I couldn’t do that to him. I loved him.

“Thank you.” I whispered into his chest.

“Don’t thank me, it’s just the truth. I just can’t understand how anyone that had you, could ever do anything that would mean they’d lose you.”

Neither could I.

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