Tara is the only one left downstairs when I get home, she’s completely focused on her laptop and I don’t want to disturb her so I wish her a quick goodnight and get upstairs.
I’m just about to put my pyjamas on when Jayce comes barrelling through the door into my room. The movement so sudden I jump, dropping my pyjamas to the carpet.
“What the fuck is this Aleah?!”
Okay, the fact he called me Aleah instead of Lee is already a sign that this isn’t good.
I look at the phone he’s now holding up to my face. It’s open to Chad’s Instagram and there, right at the top, is the picture he took of us earlier at the pizza place.
I read the caption – Pizza madness with my best girl. LML
Oh I’m going to kill that basketball fucktard.
"Jayce, please, don’t be angry again. I can explain.”
Jayce isn’t even listening to me, he’s furious. He’s pacing around my room like he has no idea how to get out or even where he is. I throw my pyjamas on quickly and try to approach him but every time I do he shirks me off.
I finally get in front of him and grab hold of his arms, I step into them and close them behind me.
“Jayce, nothing happened. I was hungry, we got food. That was it.”
His body is still tense, I slide my hands under the hem at the back of his t-shirt and rub calming circles along the bottom of his back.
He breathes and releases a bit of tension from his rigid muscles. “He called you his best girl.” The words like razor blades seeping through his gritted teeth.
I kiss his jaw. “I’m yours.”
“But he said-”
I kiss the sensitive part of his neck. “I’m yours.”
I continue the kisses until they cover his cheeks and eventually meet his lips.
“Jayce, do you trust me?” I ask honestly.
He looks at me, his eyes finally returning to the calm blue of the ocean. “I trust you, it’s him I don’t trust.”
I cup his face. “Trust me to not let him do anything that would stop me from being yours. It was pizza, nothing more. He can’t ever have anything more with me, I won’t let him.”
He collapses onto my bed with me still in his arms. I lay among his body, just waiting for the calm to take over him entirely.
“I’m sorry Lee, I don’t even understand why I’m being like this. I’ve never been a jealous person, protective yes, but never this weird unjust jealousy thing. I fucking hate it. I just... I just can’t lose you.”
Deep down I know it isn’t unjust. Chad had said we could just be friends but we both knew if I asked, he’d take me in a moment. Jayce had a reason to want us apart, I’m not sure I’d take it well if he’d been partnered with someone like Brittany and there were pictures of them all over the place for me to see.
“Don’t be sorry. I get it, I really do. I just hate it’s like this. You two have been best friends since you were shoving crayons up your noses. I never wanted to come between you.”
Jayce sighs. “It’ll be better when he knows, when everyone knows. He’s never really seen any girl off limits before but the fact I’m completely in love with you should count for something. He’s not exactly the dick he leads everyone to believe he is.”
He’s really not.. that’s what’s so frustrating. This would all be easier if I could just go back to hating the guy.
I wrapped my body around Jayce like a human blanket and rested my eyes for a moment, it’s the last thing I remember before I eventually woke up to the morning rays... alone.
*********************
Wednesday was harder. My anxiety was at an all time high and Jayce was being surprisingly distant. I thought we’d sorted everything out before we fell asleep but he was clearly still not okay.
Waking up alone had thrown me, never had I fallen asleep with Jayce then woken without him. He’d claimed he needed an early morning run to clear his head but he’d only spoken to me in short answers since then all day.
He didn’t even want me to come to practice. Brie had decided to cancel rehearsal for today, the entire crew was exhausted and she didn’t want anyone burning out. I thought Jayce would have jumped at the chance to see me finally but he said that I’d probably just be a distraction, I knew it was actually code for him not wanting me anywhere near Chad unnecessarily.
Me and Brie were at the mall instead, I wanted to try to find Jayce a birthday present but was struggling big time. What do you get the guy that already has everything?
“What about this?” Brie held up a fitted black shirt that was clearly too small for Jayce.
“Babe you’d need to get it about four sizes bigger firstly and secondly I don’t want to just get something he’d pick up for himself any day. It needs to be special.”
“I thought you’d like something a little more snug on him.” She winked. “Anyway, I told you what to do if you want to give him something special.”
I roll my eyes at her previous suggestion. “Brianna, I am not covering myself in whipped cream and laying on his bed wrapped in a bow!”
She shrugged. “Well this is fruitless then because we both know the only thing that boy wants is you, coffee?”
I look around the tenth store we’ve been in and decide a caffeine break is definitely needed.
As we walk towards the coffee shop my eye is drawn to a tiny store at the furthest corner of the independent stalls that line the far wall.
“You go get them, I’ll meet you in there.”
I stare through the window of the tiny shop, I’ve been to this mall a million times but I’ve never been in here. Its a unique place, eclectic even. One of those places that sells everything but nothing specific at the same time.
As I walk inside I’m hit with the scent of burning incense sticks, a beautiful woman with waist length dreadlocks wearing a colourful caftan greets me from behind the counter with a smile.
I wonder around looking at all the shelves and glass cabinets filled with such an array if wild and magical looking things.
As I come to the back I see a shelf filled with different sized leather bound scrap books. They’re definitely hand made, each one completely individual. My hand pulls out a black one from the sea of browns and reds, I open it and see the inside cover is a swirling pattern of greys and silvers, just like the colours of Jayce’s room we both love so much, followed by page after page of blank thick sketch paper.
I can imagine Jayce filling every page with beautiful illustrations, taking it with him to college and having a piece of me with him always. It’s perfect.
I take it to the counter. “Did you want it engraved sweetie?” I look at the where the nice sales lady is pointing, a sign above the shelves that I just got the book from that reads; ‘Free leather etching available.’
I smile. “Yes, that’s great, thank you.”
She slides me a pad and pen. “Just pop down what you want written and I’ll get it done ready to pick up in, about an hour?”
I take the pen gleefully, I know exactly what I want written on here.
Brie is settled on one of the back tables when I get there, hot coffee ready and waiting as she scrolls through her phone.
“Chad’s still got that picture up.” She states as I sit down and inhale the vanilla scent of my latte.
“Yeah I’m not surprised, doubt Jayce even said anything to him about it. He’d probably put his fist through his face just talking to Chad about me.”
Brie lowered her phone to the table and peered at me over her giant cup.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
She settles her coffee back down. “Babe I love you, but pretty soon you’re really going to need to make a choice between those two and stick to it.”
I just stare at her for a moment waiting for her to explain herself but she just lets it linger in the air. “There’s no choice to make. I love Jayce. He’s all I want.”
“Then why do you do things like this with Chad?” She asks flashing the photo at me again.
I look at our smiling faces and for the first time realise that chads eyes are facing me in it, his smile spread widely across his face as he stares at me lovingly.
I sigh. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t. It’s like I’m happy, so happy, with Jayce every other minute of the day but then when I’m with Chad.. it’s like.. he makes me feel special. I can’t explain it but it doesn’t matter, its never changed how I feel about Jayce. It’s always going to be him I love.”
Brie places her hand over mine as I steady myself against the table. “It’s okay babe, life isn’t always straight forward but I know you better than anyone, better than yourself sometimes. I know you love Jayce but I also know you like Chad. He has something, does something that Jayce doesn’t. It isn’t fair but it’s also not an easy either or situation, a tiny part of you wants them both.”
I finally let the weight of everything I’ve been hiding hit me like I’m being buried alive under the bricks of the falling walls. Brie knows me so well and I don’t know if its because Jayce is being distant that I’ve finally stepped back enough to see it but I can now too.
It’s not a love vs lust thing or even a crush. It’s a spark. A tiny glimmer on an almost dying ember that I need to accept and extinguish before it becomes a raging inferno. I like the way he makes me feel, I can’t deny it. I was a girl that spent her whole life being ignored and now I had attention, I craved it. From both of them.
But it was hurting Jayce. It would end up hurting them both. I think of everything Jayce has ever said, everything he has ever done that made me feel beautiful and wanted. The way he protected me at the park, how he kissed me against the bathroom door, how gentle he was the first time he made love to me, the night in the bath.. the boat. What we had wasn’t comparable to a spark, it was a volcano of fire and passion waiting to erupt and spill out into the rest of our lives.
He was my future. I was ready for it, ready to tell the world about us, ready to be his without any exceptions. I wasn’t going to let the little shy girl inside of me craving attention step in the way of the woman I was destined to become. It ends. Now.
Brie dragged me into an underwear shop after we finished our coffee to get Jayce another, more Aleah based, gift. Then we grabbed the book.
She dropped me back at the Manor and I hid it in my bag before I went in.
“Hi poppet, we’ve just finished but yours is in the fridge.” Granny had already stuffed me before we went to the mall but I forced down half of the plate Tara made me not to be rude.
“How’s the house coming? All ready for Sunday?” I ask as Dad settles in with me after Tara pushed us out of the kitchen, she liked to clean alone.
“Yeah, just a few bits left. Jayce is such a good lad to have around though, can turn his hand to anything that boy. Really skilled.” You have no idea.. “I’ve told him if he wants a job over the summer, the boys down with me would snap him up in a heartbeat.”
I was glad they were bonding. Dad and Jayce had never had the bond that Dad shared with Milo and I wanted them too. It might be easier to handle finding out about us if he came to care about him on personal level rather than just as Tara’s son.
I finish up and get upstairs, hiding Jayce’s present at the back of my closet under some old hoodies.
Jayce is asleep under the covers, his breath rhythmic. He looks exhausted and I wonder how long he was awake last night to be sleeping already. I check the lock on the door then pull back the sheets on the other side of him to get in. I almost don’t want to wake him, he asked me too but I can’t. I put my arm around his waist and cuddle in behind him. I figure my being here is good enough.
Just as I feel my eyes about to drift off Jayce takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips.
“Hey you.”
“Hey you.” I repeat back to him. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
He sighs. “Sorry, I’m better dealing with stuff if I have time alone to process. I’m better now.”
I kiss the back of his shoulders safe in the knowledge that I’ve made the right choice. He’s my perfect fit, our bodies, our souls, everything. We fit like every part of us was made for the other. He could never hurt me, he loves me completely. People spend their whole lives searching for what we have.
“Good, you excited for Saturday? Only two more days of hiding.” I ask still kissing his shoulders.
He turns to face me but can’t maintain eye contact, instead he stares up at the ceiling.
“Look I’ve been thinking.. I don’t think we should tell them yet. Things haven’t exactly been great for us this week and I just don’t think it’s the right time. We should probably be better before we commit to telling people.”
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My Future Stepbrother
Romance**BOOK ONE OF THE FORBIDDEN LUST SERIES** "How am I supposed to become your brother when all I want to do is f**k you senseless?!" Aleah just wanted everything back the way it was. The way it was when her mum was still alive. She didn't want this...