when my lighter drops

to know

She is sitting down. Her legs are bouncing up and down.
Scared to tell them the lie she is telling herself as well.
Not sure how they would react.
When asked she goes with the easy answer,
laughing saying how crazy the question is,
or turning away ignoring the question.
It's like a heavy weight on shoulders that is stepping on her.
'Am I really?' she asks 'no course not' she answers and that's just herself.
What about others? How does she tell the ones so close?
It's a dark secret that she has all to herself.
Because who can she really trust?