when my lighter drops

nervous

i told her she was pretty today.

the smile on her face will forever be in my mind.

how could such a simple word only create a thank you from one but blushed cheeks, large beautiful eyes and a plastered smile from other.

being told your beautiful and pretty should not be a shock to her,
no matter how many times she is told another i hope she doesn't believe it.

the way her freckles show likely along the soft bridge of her nose so defined and small.

the way when she blinks it's like each time her eyes become brighter and brighter, her eyelashes so long.

i fall deeper each time that smile is on her face

the laugh i die to hear.

i wish i could have her but she will always deserve more than a burden which is me. the magnificent heart that is hers is something i couldn't hold nor break.

show me show me show me her heart.

such a slow beat that sounds like music each time i can hear it.

my head on her chest, her hands brushed though my hair.
the feeling she makes me find more and more about is what is pulling me to stay,

slip away slip away slip away from her.

i knew i would why did i let her in.

the beauty of the world that controls over so much more than me is her,

how are you?
are you okay?
what's up?

so many question i cant answer.

because if i answer then i have to let down more- it will hurt more to move.

i will be cemented down not by her but by my selfishness and she doesn't want me.

she doesn't need me.

tricky thought stick in each wall of my brain walking around trying to get me to see more with her. tell me other things.
i cant.

each guitar strum
each night
each day
each blink
each breathe
each life
each death

i cant comment on because it's not something i want.

but i can comment on her and all i can say is how beautiful she is.

the smile i want to keep in my mind she thinks will leave but i could never.

i told her today and forever she is pretty.