Songs for this chapter
Retrograde - James Blake
Rolling In The Deep - Adele
Glory and Gore - Lorde
(Juan POV)
"Where the fuck am I?" I ask myself when I can barely open my eyes. I pull myself up from whereever the hell I am and hit my head, worsening my headache. "Fuck!" I finally have the courage to open my eyes and I see I'm in my car.
"What the hell?" I ask myself. As the sun beams bright through the windows I remember how I got here.
"I missed having your big dick in my mouth." she slurs and bites down on my dick making me groan in pain. When that happens I hear my phone buzz, making me realise I did call John. Fuck!
"I can't do this!" I tell April, getting up but falling back down when the dizziness takes over. "Shhh" the drunk girl whispers getting on top of me. "Stop" I say to her and push her off of me, making her fall to the floor. "What the fuck, Juan!" she slurs as I zip up my pants and stumble out of the room.
As I make my way down the stairs I pull out my phone to call John back. As the phone rings I stare at it hoping and praying he will pick up as tears begin to roll down my cheeks. "Fuck!" I shout, scaring some drunk girl in front of me.
I drunkingly stumble down the stairs, wiping my tears. I don't know where I'm going but it's away from here. "Where are you going?" Eric yells at me from the couch but I ignore him and go out the door. I need to show John that I love him.
When I get inside my car I start it and suddenly John's voice comes in my head. "Juan you better not drive drunk or I will never forgive you!" his voice tells me and I take the keys out of the ignition. "Fuck!" I yell for the tenth time tonight and hit the horn as hard as I can. I recline and my chair and try my best to go to sleep.
Whatever the fuck lies ahead of me tomorrow I have no idea.
(John POV)
I wake up and see Liam watching TV with me still on his chest. "Goodmorning" he flashes his goofy smile. When I look up at the TV he's watching Spiderman so I tighten my grip around him and watch the movie.
"So I was thinking... Do you want to go to the carnival with me tonight?" he quickly asks and when I look up he's squeezing his eyes shut, waiting for my response. "Yes." I laugh and he let's out a relieving sigh. "Good." he smiles and we continue to watch the movie.
When the movie is over Liam leaves and I'm left alone with my thoughts of Juan. I'm going on a date with Juan's cousin tonight. Maybe that's what's best for me, someone like Liam. If that's so... why is everything inside of me telling me to be with Juan?
'Because you still love him' my subconscious tells me but I push it to the back of my mind. I can't love him, not anymore, not after what I heard last night.
When I feel a tear run down my cheek I quickly wipe it away and dial Sam's number. "Ello love!" she energeticly says in a terrible British accent. "Someone's enthusiastic this fine morn'" I say and she laughs. "Well I have reasons to be." she slyly says through the phone.
"Next question! What are you doing today?" I ask. "Going to a carnival with Ash tonight but nothing until then." she answers happily. "Me and Liam are going there too. We could make it a double date." I suggest and I hear her gasp.
"Date? I'm coming over right now!" she says and hangs up. I go in the kitchen and get a bowl and the box of frosted flakes when I hear a knock on the door. What the hell?
When I open the door Sam has her hands on her knees breathing in and out. "Really? You ran?" "Hell yes." she brushes past me and goes straight into the kitchen. When I get in the kitchen Sam is scooping ice cream into my bowl. "So what happened with you and Ashton last night?" I ask while getting another bowl.
"Well since my mom isn't home we hung out for a while... And he maybe went down on me." She puts a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth and looks the other way. "What?" I stop pouring cereal and look at her. "Shut up! Let's talk about you and Liam." she says and I choke on the piece of cereal I popped in my mouth.
"I thought he kissed you and you danced on him while you were drunk. What the hell happened?" she asks and hops off the counter for more ice cream. "When you guys left Juan called me by accident I guess..." I sigh then continue "...I heard him basically having sex with his ex-girlfriend April and after that I saw Liam in a different way." I admit and Sam hums with the spoon in her mouth.
"Sounds like a rebound to me." she twirls the spoon in my direction and I look down at my bowl. "Maybe." I admit. "Really, John? This is not the John Payne I had a crush on once upon a time." she laughs. She liked me back? "I had a crush on you too." I tell her and we both burst into laughter.
"Oh my god! Jam could've been a thing!" she hold her heart, laughing. "Jam?" I laugh. "John and Sam equals Jam, our ship name." She laughs. "Hashtag Jam." I laugh and she takes another spoon full of her ice cream.
I text Liam asking if a double date was okay and he texts me back "Yup can't wait til tonight be there at 10 ;)" And I can't help but feel terrible because I think what I found attractive about him most was hurting Juan like he hurt me but being with Liam only hurts one person... Liam because I'm only attracted to the pain I cause Juan and he really likes me.
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"You look beautiful." Ashton kisses Sam on the cheek and I smile as we walk into the night air. "Can I talk to you." I ask Liam while we're walking to his car. "Sure." he smiles when he unlocks his car. This is going to be hard. "What's up?" he smiles at me while I buckle my seatbelt.
"I don't think we should be doing this-- dating. I'm still in love with Juan and I didn't see it at first but... You're a rebound and I don't want you to be because I actually do see us being friends... So I think we should remain friends." I explain and look up at his face.
He looks hurt and my heart sinks. This is all my fault I knew I shouldn't have said I wanted to be more than just friends. "Liam I'm sorry I--" "It's fine. You're in love and I know what that feels like. To be madly in love with someone, even if you hate that person for what they did to you, you still love them. It's okay." he tells me and gives me the goofy smile he was giving me a couple hours ago.
We all spend the rest of the night laughing, eating carnival foods, playing games, and watching the fireworks show. I nice change from the drama that's been going on in my life recently.
When Liam drops me off home I thank him and go inside. I place my phone on the charger ignoring the texts from Christina asking if I was okay and Juan telling me he misses me and he's sorry. I get in the bed fully clothed, gripping my pillow thinking of the only man I've ever loved as I slowly drift off to sleep.
YOU ARE READING
On The Edge {boyxboy}
Romance"I can't live without his snarky attitude or his incredible kindness he hides so horribly. I simply can't be without him." *WARNING* This was my first story so there are MANY grammatical errors. You've been warned.
