On The Edge {boyxboy}

Chapter 26.

Songs for this chapter

Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran

The Parting Glass - Ed Sheeran

Elastic Heart - Sia

FourFiveSeconds - Rihanna, Kanye West, Paul McCartney

 Avalanche - Nick Jonas ft. Demi Lovato

I awake to loud banging coming from downstairs. I groan and get out of bed in the same clothes I wore last night. I already know who's at the door and I don't want to see him. 

Dragging my feet to my dresser, I strip and pull out a pair of sweat pants and a black tanktop. I continue to drag my feet all the way down the steps to the door.

"Leave, Juan." I tell him through the door but he continues to bang on the door. "I said leave!" I raise my voice probably the loudest it's ever been raised and swing the door open. When I see the man I still love, my heart breaks.

His eyes are extremely black and bloodshot from crying and he looks like he hasn't showered in days. "Please..." his cracked voice pleads, making my anger toward him evaporate. 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry babe." he tells me and tears begin to fall from his eyes. I want to hug him, kiss him, and tell him I forgive him, but I have to stand up for myself. "I heard her sucking your dick, you certainly weren't sorry then!" I shout at him and all the sadness and anger from that night comes back.

I want so much to hate him but his love has left a stain on my soul that will last until the day I die.

"I was dumb, I thought you didn't love me anymore. I didn't even finish with April because I knew the love I hold for you will be forever and never die. I love you and only you. The only reason I tried to fight our undying love was because I thought I would lose you and I thought it would be easier to leave on my own, but I hate it and it hurts just as much." he begins crying, similar to the tears I've been crying since we broke up.

"I love you, John. I just need to hear you say it back, bring me back to life." he pleads over the sound of his cries. I can't say it, even though I do. I want to cause the same amount of pain he caused me.

"I don't love you anymore." I force the words out and he looks at me like he can no longer go on. "You don't mean that. You can't." his voice breaks and my heart shatters. 

He turns from my door and speedwalk to his car and I can't do anything but watch. As the only man I ever loved get's in his car and speed off, I finally come to my senses, I can't breathe let alone live without him beside me.

In an instant I witness the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm frozen, I can't move or breathe as my body becomes more and more numb by the sight. As I hear people scream "Call the police!" and "Is he alive?" I begin to vomit on the ground. 

"What happened?" Sam asks me when she runs over to me but I can't speak. I'm empty. I'm nothing at this moment. "Call an ambulance!" one of the mean scream and Sam pulls out her phone. "Is that Juan?!" she screams at me as she dials 911 but I can't talk. 

"Can we please get an ambulance at 1987 Willow Street please, theres been an accident and I don't know if he's alive or not!" she cries and as soon as those words are said everything becomes real.

I run down the street as fast as I could when I see my neighbors force his door open and pull him out. The driver that crashed into him seems fine but Juan isn't moving and his eyes are closed. 

This is all my fault, theres no denying it, it's all my fucking fault. All I can do is hope that I don't lose my bestfriend.

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