Hatzgang oneshots !

🌧Ross X Depressed!Reader

TW - SU1C1DE, death, mentions & descriptions of depression, mentions of mental illness, self deprecation

Requested by @untitled__artist ! I hope it's okay!! :]

As someone with depression, this is just how I go through it. I tried not to be specific or anything. Im not sure how others go through it but sometimes I just go through episodes of not wanting to live anymore so that's how I portrayed it.

If you are struggling with depression, thoughts of su1c1d3, or other things that make your life harder. You aren't different or abnormal. I'm very sorry your feeling that way, please seek help if you want to harm or k1// yourself. Don't do it please. You are loved and I'm extremely proud of your journey through this hard life.

Read with caution ❤️❤️

———

Saying I am fed up is an understatement. I was so tired of dealing with others not understanding me. I had bad mental illness which really screwed with my ability to freely go about my day. At some point everyday, I just had to panic or completely shut down. It was normal. For me at least.

My parents are super hard on me, I get yelled that for things I can't control. I don't have many friends, they can't handle any episodes I go through or simply hate having to cheer me up or reassure me. Teachers couldn't give a single fuck about me unless I get work done and are a straight A student.

At the moment, I really couldn't handle it anymore. I hated feeling so tired yet never being able to sleep at night and the constant reminders of how different I am from others.

It was another school day. I was late because of my struggle to get out of bed but I made it to second period. I dropped my backpack down beside my chair and sat down. I rubbed my tired eyes and immediately put my head down. My whole body was revolting at the fact I had more assignments to do along with the missing ones.

I closed my eyes for a while, listening to the reverberating hallway and all the insanely loud students pouring through to their classes. Some footsteps were heard entering my class and taking their seats, though the kids in my class seemed to know it was only eight in the morning and they shouldn't be yelling.

I heard the chair beside me scoot out and slowly opened my eyes. My boyfriend Ross sat next to me ironically, it was great to see him everyday. He made things more bearable.

"Hey. You look horrible." He commented right off the bat, taking his hand and putting it on my forehead.

"I'm not sick Ross, I'm just tired." I reassured him, not going further into my health.

"Your really pale though. Have you been taking care of yourself?"

"Yeah of course." I lied. "I mean my head does hurt, maybe I have a cold or something."

I sighed and lifted my head up. I gazed around the class, pretty much everyone was here except for the teacher. I just stared down at my desk silently, I didn't feel like talking. Or doing anything for that matter.

I noticed Ross's eyes have been on me for quite a while, getting uncomfortable I stare back and make eye contact with him.

"Hey.. are you sure your okay?" He whispers, setting his hand on mine.