Break The Cycle (BWay Yungy)

18 🥀: Just Cause Y'all Waited

Janika Starr🌟:

"B wea you think we go when we die?" I asked laying next to him in bed. We been in bed for a few hours not bothering to go downstairs to everyone else.

"Shit ion know. Can't nobody really be sure till they gone." He shrugged.

"Yeah it's just something I been thinking about a lot especially with Devon being gone." I said softly trying not to cry.

"I know what you mean. When Li B died I lost my fucking mind. I was still just a li nigga so it fucked me up heavy. All I could ask myself was after doing allat shit in they lifetime did they find peace?"

"Did you get a answer?" I asked sitting up looking at him.

He just shrugged again. "I done seen and caused way too much death, it don't affect me no more. At one point I just stopped fighting and welcomed all them demons, now I'm immune."

"Haven't you ever wanted to do something different though? The world already think badly enough of black folks without actually being a stereotype. I mean I know you got your reasons and all but have you ever just wanted to do something else?"

"Yeah I get what you mean. I guess you could say that's what this music shit for. To get away from everything. No cap as soon as this house arrest shit done ian finna look back."

"What house arrest shit?" I frowned.

"Me, Dee and some goofy ass nigga got into some shit before you came down hea. Long story short ian allowed to leave the Rouge for a minute."

I wondered if I should ask him for details but B had made it clear that he didn't want me knowing about anything he did. He was always tryna protect me and keep me far away from any type of danger and I appreciated that.

Danger was practically my life though, ion know how I'm ever going to go back to normal again after all this shit over. Santana had already taken so much from me.

I hadn't heard from her since our talk in the car. Ion think she tried nothing when I was sleep though cause B would've noticed, always wanting to be all under me and shit.

"B," I said, a dark thought entering my head.

"Whatchu want Nika," he sighed.

"If Santana were to show up again and I can't stop her, will you take care of it before I do anything bad?" I asked quietly, knowing what I meant.

"Mane whatchu mean take care of it? What you tryna say Janika?" He sat up, frowning. I could tell he didn't like how I was sounding right now but it needed to be addressed.

I sighed. "I mean...I wouldn't be able to live with myself if- shit I can barely live with myself now. But I'd be even worse if I did something to hurt you or anyone else. So if I get too crazy, will you just end it for me? I wouldn't trust myself like this with nobody else."

"Fuck are you saying ta me bruh," B said irritated with how I was talking. "Aye on Tay6 don't be talking no dumb shit like that round me again, talm bout some damn 'end it' fuck you mean. I'ma be hea fa you and we finna take this shit however it come together."

He held my chin forcing me to look at him. "You keep thinking you alone but you not. Whenever you feel yourself about to lose control don't hold that shit in, just talk to me that's what I'm hea for. I'ma keep yo head on and keep you straight. Together." He said again before kissing my lips twice.

He bit down on his lip gently looking down at mines, then back up into my eyes giving me this kinda innocent look, I just wanted to do whatever he said at that point like Okay sir pull it out den 🙄