Ugh. No. I didn't need to be dragged into a change room trying on odd clothes with Max Peterson in the stall next to me. For once, Max seems to be opposed to the prospect as well. Garrett watches us intently before Cassia butts in.
"Please." She puts her hands together like she's praying. "For me."
God, I can't resist her. I have a strong urge to kiss her pleading away, that would make me give in. I'm surprised to hear Max's voice when we both groan, "fine!" I guess Cassia has a persuading effect on people other than me.
Garrett can't stop smiling. He grabs Max's hand and takes off. I'm glad for the alone time with Cassia but it isn't long before she's catching up to them. I grab her hand, rolling my eyes. "Why does Max get to have his hand held but I don't."
She looks guilty for a moment and I'm scared that she doesn't realize I'm joking. "Because they are literally in love." She covers her mouth immediately.
Of course. It always happens like this. Some off-hand sarcastic comment hits a little too deep. This one was nagging at my soul even though I had moved on in real life and we were walking behind Garrett and Max.
They are literally in love.
I desperately want to ask, 'are we not?' Max's words flood back, filling me with so much insecurity. She never said it. That won't magically make her love you. She doesn't love you.
I watch as Max turns his head back, glancing at Cassia and mouthing, "Help me, Cassia! Please!"
She leans close enough to kiss him, her eyes full of pity and worry. She blinks and the whole facade is gone, Cassia's sympathy turns into mockery. She mouths back a message. "Deal with it."
I smile as she rejects his requests and I turn to her. "If you won't save him from Garrett's incessant shopping spree, will you save me?" I expect an immediate 'of course!' and maybe we'll go somewhere alone.
Instead, she shakes her head. "I'm not playing favourites, Jake." Not even with your boyfriend? I would think that there's quite a bold line between boy best friend and boyfriend. A line that allows constant favouritism and diverted attention to the one that's more deserving.
Garrett drags me and Max to get us clothes. I sigh, "I can find my own clothes, I'm not five."
Garrett only laughs at me, even Max chuckles. "There is no one better than Garrett. Get used to it."
Cassia's quick to join the conversation. "Oh my gosh Max, do you remember that time Garrett made you try on-" She doesn't finish her sentence because she's consumed in a fit of giggles. Max's jaw drops before he drapes an arm around her shaking his head.
Garrett's eyes widen. "We do not talk about that." He says forcefully, still playful though.
I can't help but feel left out as I know nothing of what they are talking about. I don't know what Garrett did or what Max looked like, or why Cassia seems to love it so much. I'm still in a daze as I get pushed into the change room with a short-sleeve button-up. It's loud, to say the least. I place it over my white undershirt, the pattern of white clouds over a bright teal background matches nicely. I cuff the sleeves, tuck it in, and undo many of the top buttons. I can't help but feel slightly insecure before I open the curtain to show them. I look in the mirror and yes, I'm hot as hell. But am I really enough to match the relationship Cassia has with her friends? Besides looks because I defeat all of them in that category. I hear both Cassia and Garrett talking.
"That suits you w-well." Garrett says nervously. He's probably turned on just by looking at Max. Stupid crush.
"Oh my gosh." Cassia says sarcastically. "Lookin' spectacularly hot." Even if it's a joke, she's clearly flirting. It's only making my insecurities worse.
"Would you go out with me then?" I can hear the charm in his voice.
"Gladly," Cassia says, barely meaning it, I hope. "God Max, you know that I'm not the one who wants to go out with you -ow!"
Garrett speaks next. "Sorry Cassia."
Max must look great. He must look perfect with some cute shirt, posing in front of his best friends. He's right, isn't he?
She never said it.
She doesn't love me.
I hear Max whisper to Cassia again. "You know, my offer still stands. Wanna go out?"
Yes, Max is right. Cassia doesn't love me. She doesn't love me fully, but there's a part of her that does. She doesn't love me but somehow she loves them. A narcissist and this flirtatious monster. Yes, Max is right. He knows a lot about her, he will always be right. Yes, Max is right. And that makes me so insecure.
Cassia laughs, beautiful and infuriating. "Max, shut up." She says it with a smile on her face.
He whispers in her ear, she retorts; quick and witty. She smiles at his face. He looks at her when he's bored. The sight, enough to entertain him. -To make him happy. She doesn't love me but she loves them. And insecurity turns to jealousy.
