My hands were shaking with nerves. According to a text from Jake, he had planned to meet Cassia at the bleachers to reconcile. I hoped that they were somewhere together. Maybe if he got his happy ending, I would get mine. Well, it would be much easier to get my happy ending if the goddamn boy answered the door.
Just as I start thinking I should walk away, Max appears in the doorway. I wave at his greeting, not quite sure how to ease my way into my confession.
"Did you need something? I know we haven't really talked outside of class for a while, things have been busy." He pauses, glancing up to his room before he turns back to me. "So, what's going on with you?"
"I like you." I blurt out, abruptly. So much for easing my way in.
He doesn't speak and looks like Anna after she gets frozen in the movie. Except, he's not stopping a sword from being sliced into his sister.
I use the temporary silence to explain myself. "I've had a crush on you since last year. It didn't help that Cassia teased me relentlessly on it. And I never really got over it because I saw you every single day. I think you're really cute and you are so fucking hot it's not even funny. I know that all my flirting seemed like a joke but it wasn't." I say it all really quickly and wonder if he's catching anything I say. "I just want to- do you want to go out with me?" I ask eventually.
"Garrett." He says my name with no emotion so I can't tell if it's bad or good. "Garrett, I do like you as a friend -as a best friend really." I'm still not sure which direction he's headed. "But I'm certain, that I'm not... gay."
My heart drops. Of course he's not gay. I guess the conntation with straight, white, men was so bad that meeting a good, straight, boy like Max made me think he was gay. Or maybe he is just ignoring his feelings for me. I settle on the latter. "I know you feel something for me, anything for me!" I say, exasperated.
"I do, Garrett. I feel friendship and that's it." Fuck that glimmer of hope I felt at the beginning of the sentence. "I don't feel any other way for you and I'm sorry."
I see him glance up to his room again and it clicks. "There's someone else, isn't there."
He nods slowly. "I'm sorry." He whispers.
"Well, 'sorry' doesn't cut it!" I yell. "Who is it? Who's the lucky girl?" It has to be a girl. If it wasn't a girl then I would hurt even more.
Max opens his mouth but gets cut off.
"I thought I heard something."
"You woke up?" Max asks wearily.
She makes her way into my view but I don't even need to see her to know who it is. She smiles at me. "Hey, Garrett."
I narrow my eyes. "You aren't with Jake?"
Her eyes widen and Max steps a little closer to her. "I broke up with Jake -like really broke up with him, earlier today."
And I thought it clicked earlier but no, this was some soap opera shit. Of course. She broke up with Jake for some inane reason and she's the girl who Max is in love with. And I wished it was a girl. I wished that he was in love with some girl but not this girl. Because this girl is my best friend.
I was too fucking late.
"Well this is just perfect isn't it?" I guess our plan fell apart. "He's in love with you. Did you know that?" I point to her. "You are the reason why I don't get my happy ending. You, Cassia, are the person who knew I had a crush on him and swept him up anyways. And to think you are my best friend. Well, you were my best friend."
"You guys talked." She said shakily. "I'm sorry Garrett, I didn't mean to."
"Oh, you didn't mean to?" I ask. "Then tell him, tell Max that you don't feel anything for him and maybe he'll realize who he should be dating."
I watch her turn to look at Max and see Max's bottom lip quiver. God, even in fear he looks cute. I wait for what seems like years for Cassia to admit that she doesn't reciprocate Max's feelings. She opens her mouth to speak. "I can't. I'm sorry, Garrett."
I shake my head at them. "Enjoy your fucking fairytale ending Cassia. You're one lucky bitch to have Max. Both of your can go fuck yourselves! Or even better fuck each other if it makes you happy." I start walking but turn to look at them again, tears already streaming down my face -regret in my mind burning as I speak. "I hope I never see you again."
