I shouldn't have said anything. Even if it was hidden under my breath. Subdued to the point of silence. I shouldn't have.
"I didn't say anything." I try again. I'm desperate to add an 'I swear' but that would be a stone-cold lie.
"Shut up."
I still remember that day. Cassia was shaking when she got to my house. She was soaking wet from the rain and had a book bag tucked under her arm. Maybe she was crying, the rain on her face and clothes masked it nonetheless. Even before she spoke I was there, in front of her. Holding her hands to stop them from shaking. Garrett, wrapping a towel around her. "Oh, God." She said slowly, bringing a hand to cover her mouth. "He said that he loved me." She shook her head, staring at the puddle she had created on the hardwood floor. "I couldn't say it back."
I remember the guilt in my throat that bubbled and curdled as a flutter of happiness soared through my heart. I remember thinking that he would never be right for her, I still think that. Garrett almost immediately embraced her in a way that I never could. We're the more playful-hit type of friends instead of the hugging type of friends. Even so, all I wanted to do was to tell her that it was okay. I just wanted to hold her and say that honesty is better. But she felt so terrible, so bad, so scared that he would hate her.
"She never said it." I whisper.
Jake's jaw tightens with anger. "I know, Sherlock."
I think of keeping my cool, I think of being kind. But I can't help myself as the words drop out of my mouth. "You think she needs you because she loves you, but she doesn't. I'm just saying, being at her beck and call, assisting her with everything -that won't magically make her love you."
He smiles and that scares the wits out of me. "Maybe." He replies. "But one day, she'll realize that my assistance is the only thing she has. She won't be able to live without me."
I remember cleaning up the puddle of water that had accumulated on my hardwood floors from Cassia just standing there. Thank God, my parents weren't home. I stare back at Jake and shake my head. "Please, we're all so young for such odd assumptions. You need to remember that. She doesn't love you." I look down.
"You mean that she can't say it out loud. But she will, one day." He said, keeping his voice level but his tone strong. "But will she ever love you?"
I stare straight at him, holding his gaze. "She doesn't need to, we are friends."
"As if you don't want more."
I choose to ignore his comment and start a new topic of my own. "I don't like you."
He smirks. "What a coincidence I don't quite like you either. Cassia thinks you're nice. You just flirt with everyone, even Cassia!" He accuses. "You're annoying and are always teasing her. Don't you think that Cassia's pride deserves better?"
My eyes widen. "As if you are any better. You coddle her like she can't do anything. What do you think your lack of respect and confidence for her does to her ego."
"Garrett does worse." He retorts.
I want to defend Garrett but I stop myself. "He does. All his narcissistic energy makes all of us feel insignificant."
"Glad we agree." He almost smiles. "Now, keep it cool around the rest of them. Let's try to make it a good afternoon."
I nod. "As long as you don't bring up anything insensitive."
"You too."
"Fine, Jacob." I truce. She'll never love you.
"It's Jake for Christ's sake, I will kill you!" He says, earning back all the anger he just lost and lighting a flame in me again.
I sigh and say my words annoyed and monotone. He turns away from me and I stare at my phone in response. "This is going to be such a fun time."
"Shut up."
