Garrett and I didn't talk, even though that's what I expected to happen when Max and Jake left their seats. I guess I understand that he doesn't want to talk to me. The girl who ruined his chances. I was the perfect best friend but I ruined that reputation pretty quickly. I'm sure that he'll talk to Max. Maybe he'll let me apologize after speaking to Max. But not yet. And I have to be okay with that, because I made the mess so I deal with the repercussions.
Garrett stared down at his phone and I tapped my hand on my knee, nervously watching Jake and Max talk through a window.
After a while Max walked in and grabbed my hand. "Jake wants to talk to you."
"Oh God." I whisper.
"You'll be okay." He moves his hand to the small of my back. "Do you want me to like, stay out there with you?"
"Actually Max, we should probably talk."
I glance at Garrett as he makes the first noise he has since we got here. "It's fine. Stay." I say to Max. I'm afraid to look Garrett in the eye because I know that we aren't quite okay.
Quickly, I walk outside to meet Jake.
He crushes the last of his cigarette underneath his shoe and turns to look at me. "Hey, Cassia."
"Hi." I say quickly. "Hi." I repeat, trying to ease out my nerves. "Hey look, I'm really sorry."
"You're sorry?" He asks slowly. He looks so confused. "For what?"
"I was a really bad girlfriend." I confess. "I openly flirted with another person while in a relationship, I excluded you when we were with my friends, I devoted my attention to everyone but you-"
"No, Cassia." He interrupted, making me pause. "You devoted your attention to everyone but yourself. You stretched yourself so thin and I wasn't helping. Garrett needed you as emotional support, Max had unrequited feelings, and I expected you to love me." He shook his head thinking about his words. "I'm sorry."
"S'okay." I mutter, touched by his statement. "You know, I did like you. Even if you were a j-jerk to Gia."
"An asshole." He corrects. "I apologized for that but I don't expect her to forgive me. She's earned that."
"Damn right." I say nodding, feeling a little more confident. "I did like you but we were just really different."
"I liked you too, Cassia." He replies smiling. "Hell, I loved you! But I can't force you to love me too. Plus, it's clear who you love."
I stare at my feet guiltily. "Yeah, I'm sorry."
His head snaps up. "Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault. You can't control your feelings. I know that pretty well." He whispers. "You were not the first girl I dated, but you were the first girl I really cared aboutCassia, I really love you and that's why I'm letting you go. I would be a dick if I tried to get you back so I want you to know that I support you and Max. I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me."
"You're a better person." I say honestly, wondering how he was the same boy that used another girl to make me jealous. We walk back to the shop one after the other. "Do you want to be friends?" I can feel Max and Garrett listening in to our conversations.
He ponders this for a while, leaning his head back. "I can't. I love you enough to let you go but that's the thing: I still love you. It's hard for me to watch you and I don't think I can even deal with friendship. I -I need to think about myself here."
My eyes water a little thinking about everything. I blink the tears away before they fall. "Of course. You can go if you would like." I say, sensing that this might be hard for him.
"Okay. I'll be heading out." He says to the group of us. "Cassia, call if you need anything."
I can't seem to bring words out my mouth looking at him walk away. So I just nod as if he can see me and turn back to Max, sitting down beside him shakily. "Okay."
