Our little family (sequel to Baby Captain Widow)

Chapter 19: I miss her

2 weeks later...

Natasha sat on her bed, her face pale, her eyes red from crying, purple bags hanging from underneath her emerald orbs. She stared out in front of her, tears hiding behind her eyes. She wore grey sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and her hair up in a messy bun, and sat with her legs crossed and her feet bare.

Guilty thoughts plagiarised her mind, taunting her, allowing her no escape. Thoughts reminding her of how she went looking for Rodrigo as a replacement for her, how if she hadn't entered that diner, then she would still be alive.

She sat in silence, listening to the rain pitter-patter on the window, the slight bashing of a tree branch against the glass, unable to leave this guilt-ridden trance.

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Pepper, Tony, and Steve sat in the living room, looks of concern buried in their faces like dead men in graves. "It's been two weeks, now. Surely, this moping around isn't good for them?" Tony huffed, tossing aside his finished book.
"They're not moping, Tony. They're grieving. They lost their friend." Steve sighed, looking at him, exasperated.
"It just still can't be good for them." Pepper pointed out, quietly from behind her book. "Especially for Natasha and the twins. They need to get out of their rooms." Lily peeked out from behind the sofa with Morgan at her side.
"Hey, girls? Do you want to go and get Clint from his room?" Steve asked, turning around in his seat.
"Yeah, you can pull him out by his ears." Tony joked, Pepper rolling her eyes at him. Lily and Morgan giggled, holding their hands to their mouths, looking at each other.
"I'll go and get Natasha." Steve said, standing up and leaving the room, Lily and Morgan following him, until they separated to go to the different rooms.

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Clint stood in his room, punching a stuffed duffel bag hanging from a hook on the ceiling, the floor littered with broken punching bags and sawdust. He wore no protective tape on his hands, and blood was oozing from his knuckles, leaving splatters on the fabric of the bag. Various knives were embedded in the broken bags on the hard wood floor, and throwing stars were stuck in the walls, leaving paint flecks below. A small, feeble knock came from the door. "Go away!" He called, not turning to the door, focusing on destroying the flesh on his worn hands.
"Uncle Clint, it's us! Please can we come in?" Lily asked, her voice soft and pleading.
"I'd rather be alone right now, Lily!"
"Please? We miss you!"
"Who else is with you, Lily?"
"Just Morgan! Daddy's gone to see mummy."
"I really don't think you should come in here." He stopped his punching, and looked down at his feet, watching the blood drip from his hands onto the floor.
"Then come out here!" Morgan suggested, trying to open the locked door. Clint sighed and trudged over to the door, and opened it. Lily rushed to him, and hugged him tightly around the leg.
"I missed you too." He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. She let go, and looked up at him.
"Uncle Clint! You're bleeding!" She cried, seeing his hands covered in scarlet.
"Yeah, should probably get this cleaned up, don't you think?" Morgan nodded, as they moved over to the kitchen.

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Steve cautiously opened the door to his and Nat's room, and stood in the doorway, unsure whether she had noticed him, her gaze still fixed on the mirror in front of her. "I didn't think another Widow could get out. I wasn't sure if it were possible." She spoke, staring ahead of her, her voice hoarse from crying. "But she did." Steve walked over to her, and sat down beside her.
"I didn't know she was a Widow."
"Yeah, she was." She gave a small smile. "She got out a year after I did. She went to SHIELD in search of help, a bunch of people in my sister's group were sent to go and hunt her down, like they did with me." Steve rubbed her back, holding her close. "I helped her find her parents, her real ones, her birth ones." She looked up at him, hands cradling her large bump. "She was there for me when my past consumed me, so much so that she bluntly refused to go on missions until I was ok, which would always infuriate Nick, but he understood. It's not Clint's fault, I know it isn't." She looked back in front of her. "It's mine."
"How is it your fault, 'Tasha?"
"I was the one who suggested she take my place, I suggested we go look for her. I was the one who talked to her and convinced her to do it. If I hadn't, then she would still be here."
"Natasha, it's not your fault. I was the one who organised the groups, who said she and Clint were to go together."
"Steve, it isn't your fault." Silence fell over the couple, Steve holding Natasha's hand. "Я скучаю по ней."
"Я знаю."  Nat looked up at him, surprised. "Yes, I did pay attention when you were teaching me Russian." He grinned.

A/N: "Я скучаю по ней" means "I miss her" and is pronounced "Ya skuchayu pau ney", and "Я знаю" means "I know" and is pronounced "Ya znayu".

"Come on. How about we go down to the kitchen and get some ice cream?" Steve asked, kissing her head and placing a hand on her stomach.
"Will it be salted caramel with chocolate sauce, chocolate shavings and sprinkles?"
"It could be..." Nat smirked as she stood up, Steve supporting her as she did so. "I love you, Natasha."
"I love you too." She smiled, kissing him back. "But I'm only coming out for the ice cream!" Steve chuckled and rolled his eyes.

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Hey guys! Apologies that the last few chapters were really long, and this one was kinda shitty, but I hope that you still enjoyed it.