Obscurity (2) - JJ Maybank

MR DRUTHERS PT III.

"Goodmorning," JJ spoke when he came into the kitchen and kissed Aria's cheek. 

"Goodmorning," Aria replied. 

No, Aria was having a shit morning. She had let her insecurities back in, and she wasn't completely stupid. She knew at the rate she was going with JJ they were going to get back together. 

JJ and Aria's relationship was toxic, it wasn't healthy. They had bad fights but just brushed them off as love. Trust issues, cheating, being lied to, everything she ever feared was racing around her mind waiting for her to slow down to creep their way into her heart. 

She didn't know what to do, there was a very big part of her that wanted to just be able to forget, forget the breakup, forget the two months and just be with JJ. 

But every demon she had faced in her life was coming to tell her it wasn't worth it, that her and JJ would get into another massive argument and blow up, ignore each other's entire existence, potentially lose her friends again because she was too scared. 

She also didn't want to let him back in. Last time was so toxically perfect, the highs were mesmerizing but the lows were destructive, and unfortunately, she couldn't just forget this one low. 

In a time where she needed him he chose to not be there, he chose to be by himself rather than love her. It may have sounded clingy but they had also been bestfriends since second grade, and he had also known how to help her. 

Being without him for two months felt weird, it felt like a piece of her was going to. Yeah, it is cringy, she knows. But she couldn't help it, John B and Sarah had 'died' and she tried to give JJ the space that he wanted but it was only hurting her more. 

She wouldn't let herself get hurt anymore. 

"Do you want a coffee?" JJ asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist, her back to his chest, his head on her shoulder. 

Aria felt goosebumps all over her body and a lump building in her throat. She didn't want to cause any more drama, she hated drama but she couldn't keep going like this unless she wanted to be crying in her bathtub at 4 in the morning, again. 

"No," Aria spoke neutrally as she pushed herself away from JJ. 

"What's wrong?" JJ asked seeming genuine. 

"I'm getting changed," She didn't even spare him a glance as she walked away and as much as she hated this, it was easier than going through it again, she needed trust and love, not just sex. 

JJ was confused about why she was acting so cold towards him, it happened for the rest of the morning until they met the Pogues. JJ hoped that she just woke up too early, but no, she was only acting cold to him. 

JJ also knew what he was doing, he saw that she was letting her guard down a bit so he sucked his breath in and squeezed through that little gap before it stopped. He was trying to show her that he could be a better person and make her look past the break-up. 

Was the break-up his fault? Sure, he knew it, she knew it, everyone knew it. 

Did he want her back? As clear as day, everyone knew that too. 

Was he going to hurt her again? The lucky question no one knew the answer too, JJ sure as hell didn't want to but he didn't want to the other times as well, even the time he said she killed her mum, to her face. 

What people didn't know about JJ was that he had snuck to Aria's house many nights, not inside but just sat on the hammock on the porch and left before she woke up.