Our Journey Of Love (Completed)

22. What next

TAMARA'S POV:

After Pranav dropped me near the bus stop, I was going to call Krish. But a bus stopped in front of me, which I know will stop near Ram's place. So, I took the bus to go there instead of calling him. Today, I want to let him know everything about me and the secrets I have carried with me for years. I didn't even realize that the bus stopped near Ram's place until the conductor shouted the place name loudly. I hurriedly got down from the bus and walked towards Ram's apartment. The door is not closed, and I can hear someone crying inside. But none have warned me about the scene I am going to witness next.

Jahnavi and Ram stood in each other's embrace while Jahnavi is crying and uttering, 'I love you repeatedly. I was taken aback by that but didn't move from the place. I can clearly see how serious Jahnavi is. I was once in that place. At least she has the guts to tell that loudly while I accepted my defeat as a coward without even trying. I am not going to let her suffer because of me. From today's interaction, I can see how much Ram cares about her. And most importantly, I don't want any other girl to suffer from the same fate as mine. I already had some experience in heartbreak. I can handle this also. After all, I am that emotionless girl to everyone, no matter how I suffer inside. So let it be.

Without making any sound, I left the place and walked towards the bus stop. On the way back, my toe hit a stone. Everything seems blurred in front of me. Blame it on my tears. Why is the universe torturing me by reminding me about the best day of my life when we loudly shared our feelings. I sat on a bench at the bus stop and let my tears fall freely. Why does this happen to me only? Every time I find something to be happy about, this happens. I must have made a big mistake in my past life. That must be the reason for this. Suddenly, I realized where I am, and cursed myself for losing control over my thoughts because of the stupid emotions. I picked myself up and took a cab to reach my place.

I don't know what I am doing for the last two days except staring at random things. I went to the office the next day after the incident, but I couldn't concentrate on anything. Tears pooled in my eyes just by staring at something. My team members were worried about me and asked me to take leave if I was not well. Now, I am here in my bedroom, again staring at the wall and letting the silent tears out. My roommate Amrutha sensed that something was wrong with me but didn't ask me anything. She has been making food for me for the past two days. But I am not in the mood to eat anything.

I don't know how to proceed further. Should I inform Pranavi? Or my parents? But first, I should let Ram know about my decision. But I haven't overcome my sorrow to meet him yet. God! So many buts. I am not even able to sleep to forget about these thoughts for some time. While I was thinking, our doorbell rang. Who would it be at this time? It might be a parcel delivery guy. I got up to open the door, but the doorbell was ringing incessantly. My anger rose to another level. Whoever is ringing the doorbell, it seems they have a death wish. I opened my door with a thud and put the angriest look on my face. And guess what, there my Ram, sorry Just ram, stood in front of the door with all his glory.

"Hi! Sorry, I am not well. Can we talk later?" I lied to him and shut the door without hearing the answer.

He started knocking on the door, but I didn't open the door. My phone started ringing. I don't have to check who the caller is. I know it is Ram. I didn't answer that either. He didn't stop knocking on the door and calling me simultaneously. To block the sounds, I answered the call at last.

"Open the damn door right now, Tara. Or else I will start banging the door loudly. I don't care about the security or your neighbors," he said with so much conviction that I felt scared for a second. This is the first time he spoke with me in such a hard tone. I was afraid that he would do what he said, so I opened the door hesitantly to not create any scene. He stepped inside and hugged me tightly, but I didn't hug him back. He released the hug and put his hands on my shoulders, and looked straight into my eyes. I just stood there idle.

"Please tell me what is happening with you? Why are you ignoring my calls? Leave it. Why are you ignoring Pranavi's calls? You don't even know how much stress she is under just because of you? What are you thinking, Tara? At least talk to Pranavi if you don't want to talk to me," he asked me. I felt ashamed of myself at that moment. When did I become such an insensitive girl? The thought of others' pain didn't even cross my mind from the past two days. But can you blame me? I was wallowing in self-pity. I called Pranavi and told her that I am good and will talk to her some other time without any delay. After that, I looked at Ram guiltily.

"I am really sorry, Ram. Because of me, all of you have to suffer. Please leave me, Ram. I am not good enough for anyone. I always bring problems to everyone. Please leave me, Ram," I uttered what's in my mind while tears started rolling down my cheeks.

He looked at me in disbelief and said, "Don't even make another comment about you. I am not going to tolerate it."

"No, Ram. That's the truth. Please leave me alone and go back to Jahnavi," I closed my mouth just after uttering those words. His eyes widened.

"Why should I? Why is she coming in between us?" he questioned me. This is the time for me to reveal the truth. I am let go of everything and end this matter here.

"Why not? She loves you. You care for her. You have both know each other for so many years. I just came in between, so I will leave in between. Please understand, Ram. I can't see another girl getting heartbroken because I know the pain. Please, Ram, let us break the engagement and part our ways," I said, bowing my head down. I can't say these words looking straight into his eyes.

He let out a sarcastic laugh and lifted my chin. "So, this is all about Jahnavi. I accept that Jahnavi loves me. And I care for her. I can't break that bond. But, what about us, Tamara? What do you call this thing between us? Is it not important? Don't you love me, Tamara? " he asked me. I was not shocked by his questions because those are the same questions running through my mind. But no words came out of my mouth.

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