i lost myself.

20: Numb.

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Chapter 20:

Numb.

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Jahseh's POV

I woke up from the sound of a car closing. I yawned and tried to get up but something was holding me down. I looked down and saw a sleeping Leslie laying on my chest and cuddling me. Half of her hair was covering some of her face. I felt bad I didn't know what to do yesterday as much. All I know is that I hope she feels better. I looked on my right to my bedside table and grabbed my phone turning it on. The light that the phone gave was bright making my eyes squint to it. I waited until my eyes was adjust to it to check the time. "8:39 A.M" I read. I guess i'll just wait until she wakes up, so she can get good enough hours. I turned my phone off and set it back on the bedside table and got comfy once again. I used my freehand and played with Leslie's hair. How did I get so lucky I thought. My thoughts wandered all over the place.

When her face lite up when she realized where we were yesterday.

The kiss we shared and the dance we did.

Us joking and eating the food my ma made for us.

Her face when I asked how she was or how she felt about everything that happened.

When she started crying.

The time I let her cry on my shoulder.

To me realizing she was having a panic attack.

"Numb"

to her right now. Laying on my chest and cuddling me.

That's all my thoughts could think about. I never seen her have a panic attack and be in that state. It scared me but I knew I couldn't let it. Because I had to make sure she was going to be calm. I couldn't image what Liv would do or feel if she saw Leslie yesterday. I really didn't know. My thoughts went deeper and deeper until everything became dark.

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10:38 A.M

I woke up from the warmth of my face from the sun. My eyes fluttered open and I saw that Leslie was awake. I looked and and gave her a small smile. " morning, Les" I said. She shown no facial expressions and just laid back down. I kinda frowned. "Hey, can you get off so I can brush my teeth" I asked. She nodded and got off and burried her face into the pillow. I sighed and got up and did my morning routine. I grabbed clean clothes and set them onto my bathroom counter. I turned around and turned on the water how I liked it. After a few minutes I peeled my clothes off and went into the shower.

I let the warm water hit my face while I started to get in my thoughts. If I didn't ask her how she felt and let her rant, she wouldn't of had gotten a panic attack. It's all my fault. I bend my head so I was staring at the floor and let the warm water hit my hair. I sighed.

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I quickly dried myself off and put my clothes on. After I did that I put some body spray and some deodorant on. I walked out of the bathroom and walked towards Leslie. I grabbed the water I had and held it to Leslie's lips. I knew her throat probably hurt.

"Drink it" I said.

I took it away from her lips and patted her head softly.

"I'm going to go see what ma made for breakfast, will you be okay?" I asked. She nodded and I left keeping the door opened. I walked down the stairs and saw my mom getting plates ready.

"Morning ma" I said.

"Morning hun, how's Leslie?"

I shrugged, because I really didn't know. She didn't show any emotions and she never talked since.