CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

Let Me Find You- by- sunkissed-girl

Reviewer: chaotic_naturx

BEFORE READING

OMGGGGG!!!! Your cover is so perfect...ly symmetrical! It's just absolutely dazzling! I love the colors and the way the crown and typography match with the background perfectly! Whoever did this must be a serious deal! cough @vertigo_moon cough Pure genius!

Now, for the title, I'm not entirely sure if it matches the cover as much as I'd like. This title kinda sounds like it should be in a basic cover with a basic, depressed-looking gal/guy/non-binary on it. But, it's a crown. So, I kind of has mixed feelings on that one. Hopefully, the title fits with the story and I won't have to mention it anymore. To the blurb to find out!!!

Okay, so...the blurb definitely needs some work. I wasn't really interested while reading it and the only thing I noticed out of the ordinary were the grammar mistakes. So, naturally, I cannot say that I particularly enjoyed that blurb. So, some tips on how to revise it! First of all, fix the grammar mistakes. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, right? Well, after that, you need to reevaluate how you want this blurb to stand out. How do you want your story to show its true colors inside the blurb? Next, you rewrite it in a fun way that will keep readers interested! Then, everyone will read your book!

WHILE READING

Let Me Find You

Okay, so most of this chapter really isn't needed! A lot of this can fit into the blurb and some of it is just completely unneeded. So, I encourage you to switch some things around and have this channel only be for the dedication and the epigraph. Also, maybe change the name to "Dedication & Epigraph" or something?

Aesthetics

Wow...These aesthetics are so bootyfulllll!!!!!!!!! Like, I want some for my characterssss...(Shoutout to @dreaminginreverie y'all! Am I supposed to do shoutouts in reviews? We shall see I guess...)

But, alas, the chapter, too, is unneeded. Why? Well, thank you for asking, Other Half of Moi! A chapter meant solely for aesthetics (or just aesthetics in general) is not needed because you are going to describe your characters throughout the book. Your readers will learn new things about them with every sentence they read! So, instead of laying it out on a silver platter for us all to see, let us enjoy reading about the characters ourselves!

Chapter 1

The first thing I noticed in this chapter is that you used a word incorrectly in the very first sentence. Instead of "betraying", it should be "portraying" and "showing" or something of the sort. Betrayal is when something goes against another thing basically (really bad at explaining words, sorry lmao). "Trembling legs" are not against fear. They actually imply that a person is afraid, so it would not be a betrayal. There were many other words like this and a lot of grammar mistakes. Especially with commas. You gotta work on your commas.

Other than that, I love it! This is an amazing first chapter! I like how you begin with a dream. Most people would put a scene like that in a prologue, but I respect those who don't. I'm excited about what you plan to do with the suspense-building. You've mastered building the suspense, but can you play it out? Let's go see!

Chapter 2

Aww, I thought we were going to have a scene where Aislinn's father is being a meanie buttface person, but, instead, we got to look at Kalen's side of the world. LOVE!!! I don't know why, but I just absolutely LOVE his character! And I mean LOVEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

And more suspense...Let me guess, the next chapter will be Aislinn's (suspense) and then Kalen's again (suspense and the cycle keep on going. I don't even know if I can stand this lmao...But I will try my darndest!

Also, I still gotta work on commas just a wee bit, but, grammar-wise, this chapter was a lot better than the last! Good joberson!

Chapter 3

Oooo...and the plot thickens! (Not really. Just felt like saying that.) But, also, in a way, yes really! We knew it would probably happen no matter what, but why is she surprised that it is this Eden person? Interesting...

The grammar is getting a lot better! Like, only a few word and comma problems and that's it! So, good job on that!

So, I really, really love your descriptions, but I think you need to work on describing your characters also. Also, I don't really see much friendship interaction between Yeona and Aislinn and I feel like that is very important to show as Yeona is the only friend she's ever had. So, obviously, it's a rather important relationship to her. You just gotta show it!

Chapter 4

Oh, man. Things just got a whole lot stickier! (I'm sorry for my cliches. I just can't help it sometimes, y'know?) I'm so excited to see what happens next! It's gonna be so cool! I have fallen in love with Kalen's character even more just by reading this short chapter! LOVE him!!!!!

For grammar, it's all mostly just comma issues, but there were some sentence content errors as well, so watch out for those!

Good job on this chapter!

Chapter 5

Aww...Childhood friends are being forced to marry each other. Kinda old school, but I like it anyway! 'Tis such a fun trope to both read and write so yayyy!!! Also, the ceremony thingy sounds kinda scary. Like, who the hell would marry someone they aren't mated to if they have to go through that. My guess is men probably rule the world? Lmaooo!! Also, I bet I can guess who her real mate is, but I'll save that for another day! wink

There are more comma errors and also some more sentence structure/content troubles, so work on those.

This chapter is constructed solely of Aislinn's thoughts. There's no dialogue whatsoever. Maybe at least have a scene of her and Yeona talking? Or at least have her describe her surroundings. This will definitely help make the chapter even more entertaining! And, it'll also help add substance to the chapter! Good joberson on this chapter!

AFTER READING

Bruh, this book is amoozinggggg! I LOVE it!!! It just needs some work with commas and the other grammatical mistakes mentioned in my review. This can easily be remedied by yourself once you get to the editing stage or you could "hire" an editor from a shop, like the editing shop on this account's profile!

I am so happy I got to read and review this book! It's just that wonderfully awesome! I'm definitely gonna continue reading this book till the day I die (or when you finish the book. Whichever comes first ;)