CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

The Kingmaker by YouCanCallMeCorn

Reviewer: sassy-weirdo
Book: The Kingmaker by YouCanCallMeCorn

* * *

Presentation: (9.5/15)

Cover (3.5/5)

The cover is pretty eye-catching. I like how the designer put blood and skulls and gave the cover a gloomy feel. Not to mention, the throne is a great addition as the story itself says 'Kingmaker', and you can't really make a king without a throne.

The cover might attract people to look at the blurb of your story, but there are a few things that may turn them off-

Title is too small and some parts like the 'The' in 'The Kingmaker' are mixing with the background.

'Kingmaker' seems like two words instead of one.

The rose petals may act as a distraction especially since the title is small.

The subtitle and author name are quite difficult to see. Maybe boldening it would help.

Title (4/5)

As soon as I read the title I knew what the story was about. Good job.

Blurb (2/5)

The blurb barely has enough details for me to judge. Let's break the blurb down—

I do not know who Kuroko Tetsuya is and even if I did I would not care.

I am curious to know why Aomine Daiki is cursed.

The stakes have not been explained properly

The usage of full names seems to be cluttering the blurb a bit so I suggest using just the first name.

I liked how you credited the designers who made the cover and the banner. Most population of Wattpad forgets to do it :p

It's also a good thing that you mentioned that it's not needed for the reader to have read the manga to understand the story.

Suggestion: A proper blurb should have:

The Introduction- A brief introduction about the main character- Only applicable if there are at most two main characters. Do not introduce the characters one by one if there are more than tro characters

The Goal- What goal the characters want to achieve

The Stakes- What would happen if the person does not achieve his goal.

Hence I suggest rewriting the blurb all over again with the above pointers in mind.

Uncovering the Story: (39/55)

First (Chapter) Impression (4/10)

I have mentioned my likes and dislikes here.

Likes-

Mentioning the trigger warnings in the first chapter is good but I also suggest mentioning them in the blurb as well.

As mentioned in the 'Blurb' part, I like how you mentioned that there is no need to have read the manga in order to understand the story.

Mentioning the protocol that is done before entering the palace is a pretty good way of world building without info-dumping. Kudos!

Dislikes-

Excerpt: '"We will search inside you if you do not hurry."'

Comment: Searching inside makes no sense. How do you search inside a person? By cutting them open?