CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

Inception of Doom - by - Kattyfish03

Reviewer: chaotic_naturx

BEFORE READING

The cover is awesome! I can see that the story is probably very high stakes and that this woman is either quite kinky or she's having "trouble" with a man (obviously lmao). Its vibes give off the perfect amount of freight and suspense! And the subtitle just adds to it all! Love it! One thing that would make it look better, though, is if you change the font and color of the title so that it resembles the handcuffs more. That way, it will be harder to find that the o's are handcuffs, and, therefore, enhancing the suspense when they do find out! The title itself is just super chilling. I don't know if it really fits with the cover though. But, it is still pretty decent!

I- WOW!!! This blurb is just...spectacular! I loved the poetic first paragraph and all the questions it led me to ask myself. I can already tell that this book is gonna be super controversial! I love it!! But, there were some grammar mistakes with the punctuation, words, and sentence structure, so I suggest you fix that. Other than that, I think it was pretty good. Although, I do wish I got to learn more about the plot. I was a little disappointed about that. But, alas, it is a BOOTYFUL BLURBBBB!!!!!!!!! Good joberson!

WHILE READING

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE
Oooo...I like how you use characters from another of your stories! Very interesting! Although, you'd think it'd be upsetting to change the characters altogether for your characters. But, it looks like it has some good views, so I trust that it was a positive change!

.......PREFACE.......

Okay, this is not needed. Most of this can be and/or already is said on the blurb. And other things, such as disclaimer and copyright can be in the last chapter. You don't need a whole new chapter for it. Sorry, 'tis one of my pet peeves lmaoo...Now, to the actual story!!!!!!

1. Unwanted Attention.

First of all, the period is not needed at the end of the chapter title. Now that I got that out of the way, to the review!!

Okay, but wowwwww!!!! I love all of your descriptions of the MC's feelings and thoughts! They're so...descriptive (sorry, I'm sleep-deprived). But, rather than just describing (using this root word too much lmao) what's going on inside of her, also describe (ughhh) what's going on outside of her. So, her surroundings, the people around her, the airplane, and the airport. Stuff like that needs and deserves some attention too! I can already tell that your story is definitely character-driven, but you need to focus on other things also.

Now, speaking of character-driven, I think things are moving too fast. There's no way a woman would just walk up to the MC, say a few words, and hug her. That's moving wayyy too quickly. And, instead of just saying that they're "besties" out of the blue, later in the story show us how they became best buds! We must also talk about Melissa's first encounter with Blake. That is definitely moving too fast. I get that it's a dark romance so their relationship has gotta start off really shifting, but, still, I think that, instead of physical contact, maybe just some toxic words and such. I find it unlikely that a guy would do that in the middle of a hallway when anyone can walk in at any moment. Dark romances and character-driven stories thrive on character development and this pacing is just a wee too quick for my taste.

There were a few grammar mistakes involving punctuation, wording, and sentence structure just like the blurb, but those are some easy fixes so it should be fine!

great first chapter with only a few flaws! Loving it so far! Now, on to the next.

2. Meeting Him Again.