CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

Epiphanic by Turns - -ruwinx

REVIEW DONE BY: Greasy_Microwave

Cover

I see what you are trying to do with combining the two layers by decreasing the opacity of the girl, but it ended up making the book look dirty. This effect is especially noticeable on the girl's shoulders. I think making the girl more opaque would fix the issue.

Also, the font you used for the word "Turns" makes it look like that it's saying "Twins" instead

Other than that I do quite like the background and the other fonts.

Blurb

The blurb I have to say is rather well done. The comparisons used sharply contrasts the different aims of the two main characters in the story. There is also a short introduction of the two, which give the reader a basic idea of what is going on without spilling too many beans about the plot.

Plot/Character

The opening seems decent enough with your typical aeroplane scene, Though I love the character of the wise, kind granny Her wisdom and experience is shown by when she said "most of the planes that I've boarded would hit turbulence just about now" suggesting that she's ridden planes before. There's also an air of mystery surrounding Ximena, as why she is on the plane is unclear. I would love to see the granny return in some later chapter be it as an ally or enemy.

She also serves as a point of contrast: the wise old sage vs Nicah the clueless youngster. Ximena falls asleep easily while Nicah struggles to do so.

During the flashback of her phone call with her mother, her reaction to her dad's death seems natural as she appears to be in disbelief and won't accept the cold, harsh reality of the situation.

The stereotypical cabin announcement also adds realism, making the story more relatable and believable.  However, normally, the word "deplaning" wouldn't be used. I would recommend simply omitting it.

Chapter 2:

This chapter also starts off with a stereotypical scene, this time at the airport. Adding to the whole cliche-ness, you have your average muscular, emotionless butler/bodyguard/chauffeur wearing sunglasses and donning a  black suit.

I find it rather humorous how Nicah tries to make small talk with Michael but he just shuts her down. There is also a little light shed on Michael's backstory.

Chapter 3:

Micahel is still rather mysterious in this chapter and perhaps his backstory will be explored further in the near future.

I love the weird and unexpected telephone call that Nicah got in the flashback, which thickens the plot. This also makes her father look more eccentric by the minute.

This chapter ends off with many unanswered questions and I love it due to this, as it makes the readers want to continue.

Chapter 4

Though Michael promised that some of the questions from the last chapter will be answered in this one, her father's motives still remain unclear, which is what I expected. By also keeping Michael in the dark, you have a valid reason as to why some pieces of the puzzle are still missing.

Responsibilities are also shoved onto Nicah and she has to make do, though she is still in denial.

The calming, friendly interaction between Nicah and Stacy in the midst of the chaos directs the readers' minds away from the actual plot to something completely unrelated. This makes the readers focus on the wrong details, which I like. The whole scene also begs the questions: "How long will the two be able to remain as friends?" and "Is Stacy really a trustworthy ally or is she hiding something sinister?"

Chapter 5

There is more development between her and Michael, which is giving me romance vibes.

There is also a sense of impending inevitability of Nicah inheriting the company from her late father. She desperately tries to escape this responsibility, which I find realistic, as a young adult who merely worked as a physiotherapist would most likely not be willing to take over managing a massive corporation.
There's also a surprise appearance of AI and holograms, suggesting that Criudan is technologically advanced. The added sci-fi elements really add more spice to the plot and I hope to see some cool tech in the later chapters as both Lancaster and Pearson are major tech firms.

Description

I think the description in this story is pretty solid. There's also a wide range of vocabulary used, which is always a positive. There is some much-needed character description in chapters 3 and 4 of both Michael and Nicha.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation

Though there are no major grammatical errors, there are a few nitpicks here and there which I will list out chapter by type

Wrong punctuation

Chapter 1:

"Certainly... Nicah was at right now. At least according to her." There should be a hyphen or parenthesis instead of a full stop behind "now".

"Her home country. Criudan." Should be hyphen instead of a full stop

"Her mind drifted to the stale convo she had with her mom, the other day" Comma is unnecessary.

"Nicah would practically be a stranger, the moment her feet hit the soil of that country. " Another unnecessary comma after "stranger".

Singular/plural errors

Chapter 1:

"Biggest business conglomerate" should be "conglomerates"

Missing words

Chapter 3

"Nicah was broken... feeling the telltale of a headache coming" It should be "telltale sign" instead of simply "telltale".

Chapter 4:

Missing the word "know" in "I'm not sure how much you of your father's story"

IE corrected version should be "I'm not sure how much you know of your father's story"

Expression/Logic errors

Chapter 1:

"Nicah had been born and grown up in Criudan, until she was six years old" Should be "Nicah was born and grew up in Criudan until she was six years old"

"She wasn't usually like this. Moody and glum" should be "she wasn't usually this moody and glum"

"It felt like an eternity to Nicah almost that she even forgot about it altogether"

Should be "It almost felt like an eternity to Nicah, so much so that she forgot about it altogether"

Miscellaneous erros

Chapter 1:

"Grown-up people" can be shortened to simply "grown-ups"

Chapter 2

"Nicah heard a lot of...flying much late than their scheduled time"

"Late" should be "later"

Chapter 5:

Captilisation, should be "Silver Heaven" instead of "Silver heaven"

Verdict:

Despite some minor grammatical errors, I think that this book is a rather interesting read. The pacing is neither too fast or slow, the dialogue seems realistic and the characters seem realistic albeit Michael is a bit stereotypical.