The Things We Leave Behind (Gravity Falls Fic)

Chapter 35: Memories Shaken Loose

Saige's POV:

        I didn't sleep at all that night after that dream. The unsettling melody of that song kept replaying over and over in my head... And no matter how I tossed or turned, the blankets were still cold and uncomfortable. 

        "Now I know what you meant when you said that symbol represented a terrible monster." Bill's words from weeks ago rang in my ears and, like a judge's gavel in a noisy courtroom, all my thoughts quieted to make room for that one painful memory. I crawled out of bed and threw on my hoodie, walking to the bathroom and splashing water on my face, trying to shake my head free of the horrors that plagued it.

        "And people wonder why I don't like talking about my past..." I mutter softly to myself, leaning over the sink.

        I glance up at the mirror in front of me and see my messy red hair, freckles, and green eyes.

        I am not a monster.

        I let out a breath and left the bathroom, heading downstairs to the kitchen. I wasn't sure why I went down there... I guess I just needed to go somewhere, and the kitchen was the only place that wasn't currently inhabited by sleeping people.

        I was about to start making breakfast when I heard a knock at the door. I put down the pan I was holding and headed to the front door to answer it.

        When I opened it, Riley was standing in the doorway. Before I could do anything, he said, "Please don't slam the door in my face."

        I blinked, "Why would I-" but then I realized that the last time he came knocking was at that weird party, and I actually did slam the door in his face.

        "Oh, right," I said, "Sorry about that, by the way. Um, what brings you here?"

        "Well, it is still my job to look after you, so..." He trailed off.

        "Yeah, I understand," I said.

        He cleared his throat, "I know you can take care of yourself, it's just that I'm not really allowed to... drop it, you know?"

        I nod, "Yeah, I know. I have bosses, too. You can come in, if you'd like."

        I stepped aside for him to enter, and he smiled, gratefully, walking in. I closed the door behind him.

        "You can take a seat at the dining table. I was just about to make breakfast," I said, walking towards the kitchen again. He did as I suggested while I picked up the pan again, spraying it with nonstick spray and placing it on the stove. I started making scrambled eggs.

        "So," I called, "You're into me. How did that happen?"

        "I'm not comfortable talking about that... I'm not really supposed to have any feelings for you whatsoever..." He replied, quietly.

        "Oh, I see," I said, understandingly, "Well, how did your sister like the quadricorn figurine?"

        I made up two plates of the eggs and brought them to the table, setting one down in front of Riley, who answered my question, "She thought it was pretty cool."

        I sat down across from him and picked at the eggs, not all that hungry, "That's good."

        An awkward silence followed, one that Riley made haste to fill, "So Bill said I was going to hurt you, huh?"

        Not sure that was the best conversation starter he could have come up with, but hey, I'll run with it, "Yeah. I didn't believe him, of course. I bet he just said that because he was jealous, anyway, and wanted me to stay away from you."

        "You... really believe he loves you?" Riley said, quietly, and I could tell he was still wary of Bill's motives.

        I shrug, "I don't know. He definitely has some sort of feelings for me... But love is putting someone else's needs before your own, and I have yet to see that from him..."

        "You seem tired. Did you sleep okay last night?" Riley said, concerned.

        I dropped my fork, freezing. Definitely not hungry anymore.

        "Um..." I said, not sure how to respond.

        He tilted his head, "What is it?"

        "I..." I shook my head, "...no, no I didn't sleep well at all."

        He sat back, "Why not?"

        "Nightmare," I said simply, not prepared to go into detail.

        "What about?"

        "I don't really... want to talk about it," I half whispered.

        "Oh. Alright," He replied at a similar volume level.

        Once again, it was silent.

        And once again, Riley was the one to break that silence.

        "Look... I just wanted you to know that you can trust me. You don't have to tell me anything, in fact, I would advise against it, as I can't lie and if anybody asked I would pretty much be forced to tell them. But you can trust me. No matter what I feel for you, I am your friend, and I intend to act like one. Which means if you need to talk... or you just need someone to be there..."

        He didn't finish. He didn't have to.
        
        A few seconds later, he stood up and left, the door closing behind him.

---

        An hour or so passed, and Marcy, Angel, Cassie were all awake and enjoying breakfast. Asha was still passed out upstairs, where she had returned at four AM last night and just crashed. She would probably be up there for a while.

        I decided that I would go to the store that day and get an inflatable mattress for Cass and maybe buy her some new clothes, too. She was kinda like the cabin crew's daughter now. Asha was teaching her to read and Marcy was teaching her to play guitar. Cassie was good at reading; the guitar, not so much.

        She would follow me around and watch me cook, clean, and do laundry, and would wave out the door at me when I went off to work. And when I came home, she would be there, patiently waiting for me.

        She and Mabel get along really well, and Dipper doesn't mind her much, as long as she's quiet. He was really interested in her at first, but when he discovered she was pretty much just like any other 8-year-old girl, he wasn't quite as fascinated. He did appreciate her extensive knowledge of magic things in the forest of Gravity Falls, though, and keeps saying that he might take her on one of their Mystery Twin adventures one day.

        Stan still hasn't met her yet, but all in all, I think she's settling in well. She's still learning about her abilities, and sometimes travels back to the Constellation hollow to talk to her butterfly friends to see if they know anything. As far as I am aware, she hasn't figured anything out yet.

        The Ooolanders were going out today, as well. Speaking of them, I should get some more work done on those navigation spells. But that can wait till tonight. Meanwhile, those two were leaving the house holding hands. I looked over at Cassie.

        "So, Cass, ready to go shopping?" She nods, vigorously, and then rushes to finish her pancakes and orange juice.

        I was looking forward to a day with her. A day where I could forget about Bill, Riley, and the troubles of my past.

        I smiled at the beautiful little girl.

        I just hope I don't lose her, too.