Unbreakable Bonds

A Tale of Torture

I stayed in the shower for way too long, hoping that Loki would get sick of waiting for me and leave. It seems that luck was not on my side as he was still sitting in the same spot from when I left him. I walked over to the lounge area and sat in my comfortable chair, once again flicking a flame into the fire so that it would roar to life. Loki silently came over and sat in the same seat that he occupied earlier today. I kept my eyes adverted and made sure my mental block was holding strong, no one needed to witness the memories that are flooding through my head. I was going to have nightmares tonight without a doubt, I hope these walls are soundproof.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Loki demanded. I turned my head to look at him directly in the eyes, I could feel the frustration rolling off him trying to break down my mental walls. "Fury's orders. He was pissed at me this morning after my little stunt at the coffee shop. Can some of these questions wait Loki? I don't want to relive my past twice in one day." I say knowing that my face is blank and withdrawn. I'm preparing for what is going to be a hell of a night. He doesn't respond. I quickly pull his book of Asgardian poems out of my 'pocket' and go to hand it back to him. He looks at me puzzled. "I've already finished reading it, thank you. My mum used to read that to me before bed when I still lived in Asgard, it's one of my favourite books" I told him sincerely. "That was a gift darling, keep it." I smiled and sent it over to my bedside table. Loki and I sat in comfortable silence for quite some time. I must have fallen asleep at some point, still exhausted from today's 'activities'. I woke up to JARVIS calling my name. "Sorry to disturb you Raven, Mr. Stark has requested that you and Reindeer Games come downstairs for dinner and an explanation."
"Thanks JARVIS, we'll be right down. Can you please alert me when Bucky wakes up if he hasn't already?"
"Of course." I look over to Loki who, for some reason, is still sitting in my room. I thought he would have left. I go to stand up but get tangled in a blanket almost tripping over, I look at Loki quizzically. "I didn't want you to freeze to death before I got my answers now did I darling?" He said in an uninterested tone. I roll my eyes and grab his hand, pulling him up as I walk to what will be the most excruciating dinner ever. I hope Tony has beer.

Everyone is already huddled around the table, speaking in whispers as we get downstairs. Everyone turns and looks at me when they hear us enter. Loki gives my hand a squeeze and I assume it's to tell me to let it go. I quickly drop it, not realising that I still had a hold of it. You could cut the air with a knife it's that thick with tension, that is until Tony shouts "Who wants shawarma?". Everyone at the table laughs, it must be some inside joke. Loki and I walk in, taking seats at the opposite ends of the table. Conversation flows and everyone is having a great time, that is until there is no food or beer left and Loki uses his powers to quickly clean up. He's obviously waiting for answers. Everyone turns to look at me expectantly. "I think we should take this to the lounge room, it's not a short or pretty story." Everyone moves to the lounge, I take a single couch and grab a pillow to squeeze for support. Thor is on my right, Loki is on the left and everyone else has chosen to sit around in a circle like children would when listening to a fairy tale.

I take a big breath and fiddle with the corner of my pillow, refusing to look up as I tell my story knowing the range of emotions that will cross my face. "I was born in Asgard many years ago. My father died when I was young in a battle, he was a top warrior and protector of the Allfather. The few memories that I have left of Asgard revolve around my family, there's also one playing with two young princes in an overgrown apple orchard" I turn to look at Loki and Thor, recognition clear on their faces. I look back down. "My Mum raised me until I was 12 in Midgardian years, she died trying to protect me. She knew that I had powers beyond Asgardian Sorcery but is seems that so did the poachers. They came in the middle of the night and killed mother, knocking me out in the process as it forcefully broke our bond, I don't know how they stopped Heimdall from seeing this. They gave me to some organisation on Midgard called Hydra, I do not know what the poachers received in return. I was tortured for years, I won't burden you with those memories. They found out about my bonds and worked out how to break the weaker ones. They snapped every last one of them that weren't connected to my heart, erasing most of my memories in the process. This almost killed me. That's when I met Bucky" I say, looking up at Steve quickly before dropping my head again.

"A Hydra agent found him and dragged him back to the base. He was on the verge of death but they brought him back thinking that anyone who survived a fall that big was worth experimenting on, was worth weaponising. They made me help to heal him, I tried to help him pass over instead as death would have been a gift over what they did to him. In the end I was forced to help. Once he was stable, I was given the task of keeping him alive. We became fast friends, we knew that we could trust each other. He would tell me of war stories where he followed a great friend into many battles. As Bucky got stronger, they ramped up the experiments and eventually put him on ice, waiting for the day to release a new monster on the world. They got sick of me, thinking that they had done all they could for now. I got placed beside Barnes and was set to freeze until the day that they woke him. They knew that I could help 'control' him with the bond we had formed. They watched us closer than we thought. The day we woke up, Bucky still had some of his memories. He didn't want us to die down in that dungeon of a place so we formed a plan to escape."

"The day that we tried to leave was the day that Fury sent SHIELD in to that particular Hydra base as he had intel that a weapon was going to be released from there within days. Everything was going according to plan until an explosion blew us apart. When I came around, Bucky was being dragged off in one direction by Hydra and Fury's men were pulling me to safety in the other. I passed out before I could do anything. I thought I had lost him forever, he is like a brother to me. Our bond is as strong as vibranium, it's almost impossible to destroy. I knew he hadn't been killed as the bond was, is, still there. I searched for him every single day when I woke up but kept coming up short." I wiped away a stray tear that had managed to fall.

"There are only two people alive in the world that know my true name. Bucky is one of them. If either of these bonds were to break, I would become weak and beg for death over the pain that I would have to endure. The scientists have two theories for if a bond like this were to be broken forcefully. The first is that I would weaken only to come back more powerful than ever. They seen a glimpse of this when my mother was killed. The other theory is that I would die. That's why these bonds are so precious and why I have not given anyone my true name. I don't want anyone to be used against me or to be potentially harmed because of me. I'm protecting both you and myself by having you call me Raven." I concluded my story there, the pictures still so vivid in my mind. I keep my eyes trained on the pillow, not wanting to see faces full of pity or disgust. I felt Thor get up and storm off, he's probably gone to see Odin. Gods help me.

I stand up to leave so that the others can talk and to have a few hours to myself. Suddenly, JARVIS speaks up "Raven, Mr. Rogers. Bucky is awake and is showing signs of high distress". My eyes snap to Steve, he grabs my hand as we sprint towards where Buck is.