"Sirius told me to tell you-" James said.
"Fuck off." I spoke, breathing out smoke.
I was stood at the top of the astronomy tower.
"Are you joking me?" James said, grabbing the cigarette out of my mouth. "What the fuck, Regulus."
"Give it back." I said.
He disobeyed, standing on it. It went out.
"So what? You smoke now? Do you think that's cool or something?" James scoffed.
"Why should I tell you anything?" I said, walking pass him.
James grabbed my arm, "Why the fuck are you doing this to yourself?"
"Why the fuck do you care?" I spat, "Get your hands off me."
"He told me to tell you he's sorry." James said.
"Well you can tell him that it's four months too late for an apology." I said.
"You tell him that." James said, and turned away.
"You really think I want to talk to him after what he did to me?"
"To you? Really?" James said. "There hasn't been one day that he hasn't worried about you."
"Then why are you telling me this?"
"Because you won't listen to him!" James yelled. "He loves you so much, Regulus. Just talk to him."
"What's in it for me?" I asked.
"You get your brother back."
I walked away. Me and Sirius hadn't talked since he left at Christmas, it now being April. I hadn't talked to anyone since he left. Not Pandora, not Malfoy, not Barty. No one. I was alone. I had never felt so alone.
I didn't want to talk to him, or I thought I didn't. But James wouldn't have stopped begging me to. So I did. I owled him. We met in the third corridor.
"Speak then." I said.
"James told me you're smoking," Sirius sighed, we were metres away. "You're fifteen."
"And you're sixteen. You smoke." I shrugged.
"Regulus, I am so sorry that I left you," He said, taking a step forward, I stepped back. "Truly, I am sorry."
"Then why did you do it?" I asked, my eyes were wet. "Why do it when you knew you would kill me?"
"I was stupid, I wasn't thinking. I'm a child-"
I was hurt and I was angry. I felt like there were oceans between us. And I was the one in the water drowning. That he couldn't hear me. Couldn't hear how I felt.
"IM A CHILD TOO!" I shouted. "YOU LEFT AND NOW ITS ME WHO GETS THE BLAME."
"Reg-" He started, I didn't let him finish.
"You left, and now i'm her toy to kick about. To break," I stepped in front of him. "So don't you fucking dare say you were only a child."
"And i'm sorry, i'm really sorry-" He sobbed.
"Sorry? If you were sorry you would've said it months ago. You would've said it that night." I said.
"I didn't know what to say that night," He took a breath. "I shouldn't have left you. I get that. I understand that you're mad. But you're my brother. I can't just stop talking to you."
"Yes you can," I said. "You've done it before."
"And I won't do it again. I can't." He said.
"I would ask you to promise me, but the last time you said you would, you left." I said. Trying to calm myself down.
"Come here," He said. He pulled me to his chest. "I love you so much."
The hug was a mix of sobs, sad laughter, tears, and warmth. He held me for what felt like ages.
"I love you too." I said.
I had my brother back.
