supernova

Atlas: Epilouge

My thumb was playing with the back of Arabella's hand. Her rough palm radiated earth against mine; her head rested on my shoulder. I was watching the wedding, of course. Munynyim and Sophia looked at each other like they've never been happier: laughing, crying, giggling, making stupid faces.

But watching Arabella look at them with such adoration made her get my entire attention. Her smile was wide; her eyes sparkled and occasionally teared up before she blinked them back. We didn't say it, but we both knew we wanted to be as happy as Sophia and Munynyim one day— our wedding day.

We still had some time till that, but that doesn't mean we haven't talked about what it would be like. I was going to reach out to my mother; I was going to listen to her. I am so terrified. But to put the past in the past, I need to stop worrying about how good or bad meeting her will go. I need to learn to let go.

Arabella looked over at me and smiled. I smiled back at her, and she let go of my hand and wrapped a forearm around my upper arm and leaned in closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

Listening to the vows made me realize it was all I wanted. I didn't only want to be married to her, but I also wanted to promise her the world and give her every last grain of sand in it. I wanted her to do the same for me, and I know she would.

We aren't perfect because perfect doesn't exist. But that doesn't mean that we don't strive to be the best for each other. We've miscommunicated and we've fought, but we've always found a way to work through it. Even if it meant spending a few days away to cool down.

"You do know that for Amukta's wedding we have to steal shoes right?" She asked me. I knew it that when she told me she thought Deen was amazing for Amukta. I searched it all up then because I didn't want to learn last minute.

"I know, Arabella. What I want to know is whose shoes we'll be stealing." Even with Amukta meeting up with Laia, things aren't uncertain about Deen being the one she cares about. But I don't wanna assume anything.

"We'll know tomorrow, won't we? Besides, Laia is thinking of doing her fellowship here in like a year. So even if what happens tomorrow happens, we might not know the long term effects of it," She reminded me. Arabella's uncertain of the future, but desire to do her best to shape it regardless is the dedication I strive for.

"What color scheme should we do for our wedding?" I asked her.

"I'm not going to think about that until after a year. The more we think about it now, the more likely we are to rush into something. We've only been together a few months." I raised a brow. She had a Pinterest board for this. I've seen it. "It's supposed to be grey and mint green, I thought you would've figured that out. I tell you I love your eyes all the time."

"What about the flowers?" I asked and she stopped to think for a minute.

"We might have to change that color scheme because I want roses and sunflowers," She muttered under her breath.

"I know Arabella. We have all the time in the world to think about this. I don't care how long it takes as long as it's with you." I whispers, laying a kiss on her forehead. I wanted to take our time, not to make sure we were good together, but to make sure we were relaxed about it.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and brought me in for a hug. "I've learned that I feel a lot more than I think I do, but with you I know I feel ten times more than what I normally do." It was barely a whisper, but it was one of the loudest things she had said.

Quiet, loud, crazy, calm, laid back, restless: she was it all, and she shined brighter than all the stars doing it. She was contagious like the light of the stars, spreading everywhere to everyone. What she felt, I felt.

She called me her world. If I was the world, she was my atmosphere. No part of me wanted to be without her.