supernova

31

I looked in the mirror at the girl in front of me. She had straightened her hair.

When I used to straighten my hair, I never thought about it. Now I look at the head of long straight hair and feel a pit in my stomach.

I felt uncomfortable straightening the hair I get from my mom, but I had to keep it straight to keep it tame for tonight.

I was going to get drunk, and get laid, and get over my mini crush. I need to stop thinking about him.

I looked at my outfit.

It was beautiful.

A pair of spandex with half my ass sticking out, and a sports bra.

My hair was in a high ponytail and I had no makeup on.

I was not playing games tonight.

I don't know what it was that I'm looking for.

Its evident that I have a terrible way of grieving, but at the end of it, what was I looking for.

Maybe I wanted closure, but from what, from who, and how?

I shoved the thoughts away once again, getting mad at myself for getting distracted from the goal for the night.

I took a deep breath and let out and nodded at myself in the mirror, quietly affirming to myself that I look good and I will get over this bizarre thing I have for Atlas. I can't let it get too far because he's good.

He's really good, and I don't want to tell him we have to break it off.

That would mean revealing that I like him, and that wasn't going to happen.

I don't like him, but I can't let it get to that point.

I walked out of the room to see Atlas and Michael in the kitchen.

Daniyal was in Canada visiting relatives. I remember him telling me freshman year that he goes every other year.

Michael is going to Cayman Islands in a few days, so from the five of us, it'll just be me and Atlas, and then school starts in a month.

Senior year.

"Let's go," I said jiggling my keys and Atlas rolled his eyes.

"You want to get drunk tonight, you aren't driving," he stated, and he was right.

"But at the same time, she wants to get laid, so she might decide not to drink," Michael added and Atlas looked at me. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"What if she decided not to get laid and gets drunk."

"I'll just have a sober hot guy drive me home and then hook up in the car with him," I proposed and neither of them seemed impressed.

"Atlas and I are driving. Monkey, you're going with him and leaving the place with him. If you want to hook up with someone, there are plenty of rooms and bathrooms to hook up with them at Aaron's house."

"Fine," I mumbled and got into Atlas's car.

"So, you want to get laid?"

"Yes," I said slowly, drawing out the word.

"Why?"

"Don't act like you haven't been sleeping with other people," I snorted.

"I actually haven't, but fine, do whatever you want."

"I don't need your permission."

"What if I told you, I wanted this friends with benefits thing to be exclusive."