My Safe Haven

Chapter 20: A Missing Puzzle Piece

Maria's POV:

I try to act like it's okay. It's okay that Yelena left without saying goodbye. That she didn't say anything to me the night she ran away before I embarrassingly initiated a kiss. It's best to put on a facade and walk around the compound like I'm not heartbroken. I mean, that's how we're programmed anyway.

I just really wish she signed the accords because it sucks not seeing her here. I know everyone feels like there's a part of them missing since more than half of the Avengers left. On top of that, we haven't heard from either Banner or Thor.

I was lounging in the bar with a drink when Nat sat beside the stool next to mine.

"It's easier to pretend like no footprints were left in our hearts, doesn't it?" she started.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I hissed and walked away from the bar but I heard her follow me.

"C'mon, Hill. When are you ever gonna drop this?" she asked, triggering my anger that's been bottled up inside me.

"Listen, Romanoff. I have been trying to shake you off for as long as I can remember and just as I thought that I was getting there, I was once again left with disappointment." I snapped, downing my drink in one go.

"Hill-- uh, Maria, that was years ago. You know that we wouldn't have worked out anyway. Considering what our job is. That wouldn't be the best for the both us. I admit, I initiated it because at the time, I was--" she sighed and continued, "I was vulnerable. My best friend was brainwashed, the mission was harder than what I normally can accomplish and I didn't know what was gonna happen. I just, uh, I gave in to my weakness." she explained.

"Awesome then. All is better now." I sarcastically replied.

"Look, I know I haven't said anything back then and I am not really great with words or feelings but I guess you deserve to hear it. I am sorry, Maria. I should've not started anything with you if I couldn't commit to it. It was my mistake and I am owning to it. Just please forgive me?" she said.

The words that left her lips stunned me. Natasha is not one to admit any mistakes nor apologize for something that is considered as shallow when it comes to our job. She's fierce, somewhat ferocious but here she is, asking for my forgiveness just because she hurt me in the past. But I guess love changed her and made her more sensitive. I finally felt closure. It's crazy but it was something I have been longing for.

"I do." I responded.

She looked at me, eyebrows raised. Trying to comprehend if I meant it or not.

"I mean it, Natasha. I forgive you." I clarified and she let out a sigh of relief. "What happened to you?" I then asked.

"What do you mean?" she probed.

"You have gotten soft. Love has changed you, hasn't it?" I said as I let out a chuckle.

"It might've." she replied as she smiled.

"You really love her." I implied.

"I do. It's scary." she replied going back to the bar and grabbed a beer.

"It shouldn't be. I can see that Wanda really loves you too."

"I'm not doubting her love. I trust her. But it's scary because it's changing me and I kinda don't like it. I have my own principles and for some reason, it's changing. I hate being vulnerable, I hate showing any signs of weakness and I definitely loathe being cared by someone else. But here I am, absorbing every love and care given by her. Showing all signs of vulnerability and sensitivity. I can't help but feel exposed." she explained.