Newfound Destination

~ 38 ~

As much as I hated to admit it, I was losing in this game of mine.

You tell me, is it supposed to be this difficult?

Watching your boss work and not being able to look away? Not being able to speak? Not being able to breathe properly?

"Karimah, what brings you here?"

I couldn't answer...I was lost staring...

Then he got closer, and closer, until he was right in front of me and I finally snapped out of my daze.

"J-janet sent me to ask if you wanted anything." I delivered the message.

He smirked, "Really?"

Oh, he thinks I'm lying...Am I?

"Y-yes, she-"

"Or you just decided to come pay me a visit." He predicted.

That's the half of it.

I sighed in defeat, "Okay fine, I came to see you but Janet actually sent me here to ask you if you wanted anything."

He smiled, "Please recommend."

I did as he asked, "There are some snacks that I think you might like. Such as... egg rolls, bons, sausage rolls, donuts-"

"Karimah..." He added.

I scowled at him but ended up chuckling, "Please, don't be silly."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and released a breath, "Hm, I do like donuts but at the same time...I'm a big fan of Karimah."

This flustered me, a little. But I couldn't play this game with him.

"Seriously Mustapha, What do you want?"

"You mean right now?"

I nodded with a sigh.

"At this very moment?"

I glared at him, "Yes Mr. Sani."

"Well then Miss Usman..." He leaned forward, "Right this moment, I'm deeply craving for Karimah."

A lump rose in my throat and I suddenly had this knotty feeling at the pit of my stomach; It was a tingling sensation and I found myself blushing.

My mind allied with my tongue and I managed to speak up, "Then you might as well look for a Karimah elsewhere because we don't sell that at the canteen."

He seemed even more amused which only meant he still had something to say.

He leaned back, "Really? I do remember having one yesterday though, at that same canteen."

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, enough with this game. It's making me sick."

"I'll stop playing once you stop playing." His tone was serious soon.

"Playing? How am I..."

I stopped talking when I figured out the current situation.

This was all pointless!

I had pretended for too long. I like Mustapha. I know I like him, he knows I like him, You know I like him and everyone in the freaking universe knows!

But how could I admit that to him?

He would probably ask me out and I'd say yes and then we'll start dating. I will be happy. My heart will be at peace.

But then, how would Khalil think of me?

Don't get me wrong, I like Khalil but it's not so much that I want to start a relationship with him. I just want it to stay this way, I wanted him to remain in the friend zone.

And Mustapha, I wanted to go to next level with him. The highest level even.

But I shouldn't.

It's unfair. It's unfair to Khalil.

He might never speak to me again. He might never look at me again. It might never be the same again.

I might lose him...

And I don't want to.

I want him, as my friend. By my side, forever.

Same as I want Mustapha as my boyfriend. By my side, forever.

I threw my arms around the man in front of me and just hugged him, embracingly squeezing him with all my might.

"I...like you." I muttered. Then I let out my tears.

So relieving, it's been a while. I've been bottling it up for too long.

I let my emotions out on his white shirt, staining the fabric with my kohl-induced tears.

"I like you too..." He whispered back as he soothingly stroked my back with his hand.

I pulled away, "You should wear your suit, I messed up your shirt."

He smiled warmly, "No, I'll proudly walk around with it."

I chuckled, "No you won't."

I went over to his desk, took his suit that was draped over his seat and urged him to put it on.

He eventually did.

"Let's go out after work, I want to take you somewhere special." He told me.

I smiled and nodded, "Sure."

I added a joke, "I sure hope it's not an amusement park."

He sighed, "No it's not. It's a special place, no joke."

I shrugged, "If you say so. For now I have to
get back to work so I'll see you-"

"Wait." He said as he took out a folded handkerchief from his pocket.

He began to wipe the almost dried tears off my cheeks and I couldn't help but blush then his hand drifted below my nose.

"Uh, I'll take care of that." I chirped.

He shook his head, "I'll take care of it. Let me-"

"No thanks." I took the handkerchief and wiped it off myself before tossing the handkerchief in the bin.

"You like to believe that I can't handle you or that you're not good enough but you're wrong about both." He said.

I laughed, "Ha, you'd make a good poet. Go give it a try."

He suddenly drew me closer, "Hey, I'm serious. You're perfect, Karimah."

I smirked, "Don't deceive me jor, no one's perfect."

"Huh? I'm finding it hard to believe that saying these days. I mean, since the day I met you." He said.

His words were too sweet that I was getting overwhelmed and it was annoying.

"Alright stop, stop filling my head with this your sweet talk abeg. I need to get back to work." I sighed as I stepped back.

I went over to the door.

Of course, I paused and turned to him.

With a mischievous grin, I asked, "And, what exactly do you want, Mr. Sani? Donuts or Karimah?"

"Nothing for now, I think I'm already full." He played along, an amused look plastered on his face.

"That's good. We'll see after work, Mr. Sani." I said.

"We'll certainly see after work, Miss Usman."

Now, as I walked out of there, I was immediately sucked into a pool of my own thoughts.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to do this. I mean, it didn't hurt to confess my feelings so why would it hurt to be with the one who I like?

Khalil would be happy for me, he should be.

As much as he hated Mustapha...

That's another problem on its own so I'd rather keep my relationship with Mustapha a secret from Khalil and of course, Amir.

That's if today ends up being the day we start dating.

It was too obvious anyway.