Hamilton Oneshots

Dead // leerens :-)

I was dead. Simple as that. Shot through the chest and there's not much anyone could do. It was strange at first, I felt like I was a toddler learning how to walk when my body died. I was so light, yet so heavy. My body ached all over, but I felt no pain. My legs wanted to cave, but I couldn't feel them waivering beneath me. Then I saw it. 'It' being my body flatlining and dead. Doctors rushed in, though we all knew it wasn't worth it. I tried shoving the ones more likely to save me away from my body, I didn't want to be alive. But, I almost did. They moved through my arms, giving a small warmth to me. That was when I felt like my body was under a huge fever - the kind where you know you feel like you're skin is on fire, but everything around you was freezing. I hated it, absolutely hated it. I watched them from close up, yet it felt like miles away, as they drape a cloth over my head. I was legally dead. A weight freed itself from my shoulders and I followed the doctors out of the room, unsure of what to do now. Perhaps word hadn't gotten to my boyfriend about my passing. My face contorted itself into a scowl as I wondered how he would react. That was when I tasted the metallic flavor of blood in my mouth. I tried to view myself in the shiny walls, but nothing stood where I did. God, I hoped that it wasn't a Bloody Mary situation where someone has to say my name three times for me to look at myself. Finally, the dreaded reaction of my boyfriend screaming down the hall sounded. It shattered my heart to hear it. Wait, did I actually have a heart? Who knows, it just hurt to hear his screams as he ran to the front desk. I heard his sobs as he stammered my name, hoping it was a miscommunication. I walked back into the room with my body. It was cold in the room, something that felt like it should break whatever feverish feeling I had. My boyfriend knocked on the door before opening it. Tears were on his face as he looked up, staring at me. Not my body, but right where I stood.

"F-funny joke, okay? I-I see you s-ss-standing there, I-I know y-you're really not... not... not dead, right?" he asked, still staring at me. I glanced at the body then back at him, unsure if I was able to talk. My boyfriend lifted the covers and gasped at the paleness of my face, it was almost blue from how long it's been sitting there, waiting for someone to drag it off to the morgue. I watched silently as my boyfriend covered his mouth in a sob. It was tempting to step into the wall, hoping all about ghosts were true and I could stand there for eternity and not have to watch this. My boyfriend stared up at me with new tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said, unsure if he heard it. Sobs ripped from his throat straight to my heart, paining every thought of mine, wondering how I could've prevented this. Nothing left to do now. Nothing but to stand here and do the best I could.

"Stop... stop kidding, Charles, this is stupid, okay? It's no longer funny, we- I should go home, okay? You can't be dead, I know it," my boyfriend said, wiping his tears away. My face burned, but no tears could fall. Perhaps because I didn't have water or have a physical face. My boyfriend walked out of the room, checking if I would follow. I stood still, looking back at my body. What a stupid hairstyle to die with, I could've done better. I finally decided to follow my boyfriend, running through the walls until I watched him get in the car. I didn't bother with doors as I slipped into the passenger's seat. My boyfriend stared at me as if he just saw a ghost. I mean, he did, and the ghost was me, but he looked very frightened. He tried to touch me, caress my face one last time, but I simply moved out of the way, it would've been pointless.

"I'm sorry, John," I said again, still unsure if he could hear me. He looked at me with so much in his eyes. Grief. Pity. Pain. Fear. But most importantly, care.

"I heard you the first time," he muttered softly. I nodded and looked out the window of what used to be mine. I never wrote a will, I thought it would be pointless until I was in my elderly age, not 27. The aching feeling abrupted through me, making me feel the need to just disappear into nothingness. But, I didn't need to freak John out even more and feel like he's lost me for good.