Hamilton Oneshots

Chance // Jamilton

( 3 parts to this, so yea

as in 3 parts in one chapter, they all have different songs )

1~ I Don't Love You

"I love you, Tommy," I said, cuddling into my boyfriend's side. We were at his house. Thomas just made some amazing tea for us. I normally don't drink tea, but when Thomas makes it, it's amazing.

"Yeah... about that," Thomas said, getting up. I think I know where this was going...

"Don't tell me... Are you..?" I muttered, feeling tears about to spill. He hung his head and nodded a bit. I covered my mouth to muffle the sob about to come out. I got up and went to get my things out of the guest room. I didn't live here, but I was over so often some of my clothes stayed here for impromptu sleepovers.

2~ Worst

"Alexander? Can I talk to you?" Thomas said through the phone. He sounded a bit... conflicted. That was the best way to describe the tone.

"I picked up the phone, so obviously," I said, rolling my eyes. I wasn't over him yet. It's been 6 months since he left me. And a month since we started talking again.

"I was wondering if you'd like to get back together, the reason I left you was my friends kept pressuring me to leave you, and that I'd be great for Martha... but I guess I just wanted to make them happy, after all, they are the few people who talk to me when I'm really upset and don't want to bother you. Anyways, I'm rambling, so, would you like to try again?" Thomas asked. Butterflies exploded in my chest. My face blushed a bit and I nodded.

"Alex? Are you good? Did I overstep my boundaries? I am so sor-" I cut him off.

"Yes, I'd like to try again," I said, feeling happier than I have for the past few months.

~time skip of 2 months offered by thaynes existance~

"Alex, are you okay? You haven't left your room for days," Thomas asked. I had recently gotten a letter from my father. I thought he died years ago after he left us. The letter was saying that he was wanting to come to America, to come to see me. He was my only living family. On one hand, I was upset that he left our family, but on the other, he was my only family. The only one who I've known forever.

"Listen, I don't think you're in the best state to hold a relationship if you're not willing to talk about your feelings with me," Thomas said. That just set off the tipping point of my emotions. Tears flooded my eyes and I started to yell.

"I DON'T FEEL LIKE I CAN TALK TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND THIS... THIS FEELING, MY FUCKING FATHER IS ALIVE AND HE WANTS TO COME TO AMERICA TO SEE ME, BUT GUESS WHAT?! HE CAN'T BECAUSE HE ISN'T HEALTHY ENOUGH! IMAGINE BELIEVING ALL OF YOUR FAMILY IS DEAD THEN GETTING A LETTER FROM YOUR DAD WHO LEFT WHEN YOU WERE 10! OH, BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY IS ALIVE, AND STILL TALKING TO YOU! SO, YES, ADD MORE TO MY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE, BREAK UP WITH ME, GO AHEAD!" I cried. I didn't know when I stood up, but I wasn't in my bed anymore. My face was covered in tears and I was shaking. Thomas looked frightened. I don't blame him, I don't blow up like that. Ever.

"I...I'm sorry, I may not have known how you feel, but I could've supported you and helped you, I don't know how I would've, but I could've," Thomas said, getting closer to hug me. I slapped his arms away and curled back into my bed.

"Don't bother, like you said, I shouldn't be in a relationship in this state," I said, not looking him in the eye. He seemed to understand and left me alone.

3~ Burn

It's been 2 weeks since Thomas and I broke up for the 2nd time. And there he was, laughing with James Madison. Aaron told me they were together now. Aaron had a thing for James but managed to convince us that he no longer does. But that is bull. I see how he still looks at James. How he always puts on a fake smile when James is mentioned. I managed to tell people I am completely over Thomas. I wonder if they can read me like I can read Aaron. If they can see that I still have feelings. I smiled as Thomas waved to me then turned to walk in the complete opposite direction.

My father hasn't sent any letters back yet, nor has the person who he said would help him come here. Could he have died from the health problems he told me about? I wouldn't know, and that was the funny part. I don't know anything about him anymore, I don't even know myself anymore. All I know is that I am a fucking disaster of emotions.

~time skip of 5 weeks by jon ruas existence now~

"Alex, I am really sorry, I really am, I should've told you about Jemmy, I-"

"No need, Thomas, Aaron already told me, I hope you're happy now, I hope James could make you happy in ways I couldn't," I said, muttering the last 4 words. I hoped he didn't hear them, but oh, he did.

"That's the thing, he doesn't, you are special to me, third times a charm, right?" Thomas asked.

"No, you have had 2 chances, Thomas, and you broke my heart twice, and I don't know if I could trust you with the shards of my heart anymore, when I needed you most, you left me. Thomas, I hope you understand that I can't be a fucking toy that you drop and pick up later, I am a person, I have feelings, and if you can't see them, then you shouldn't have them in your hands, and don't bother with the 'I'm different now, I won't do that' bullshit, I am done being a feelings toy. I still am in fucking love with you, but I don't think I can handle you anymore," I said and hung up the phone. It hurt like hell on my heart, but it felt good. I felt lighter, like I wasn't just a thing to mess around with.

My phone rung, showing Thomas's caller ID. I ignored it and blocked his number. Unfortunately, I can't block him in real life at work. But I can ignore him for the time being. And that was fine enough for me. Maybe I can finally start getting myself back together.

( i was in a negative space writing this in like october , but im all good and yearning now - )