Drowning Desires

twenty

Maura

I shook my head as I slid back into our classroom, not believing I had been so stupid to follow Adrien into the janitors closet for a make out session.

But, I couldn't help it. I stupidly felt like a young girl talking to her first crush, yet I couldn't let myself fall hard. It was just casual between Adrien and I, it could never be something more.

Adrien slid into his seat next to me, his face is practically glowing.

For the rest of the lesson we passed each other knowing glances, the heat from the janitors closet still lingering between us. 

I hardly heard it when the bell rang with Adrien's thigh pressed against my own. It was all I had been able to focus on for the whole lesson.

The rest of the day passed with no disturbances. Riley had appeared this morning, begging for my forgiveness, as if he could place his charade back over his head. It didn't work that way.

I had threatened to cut his precious little dick off if he spoke to me again. He shut up after that.

I didn't know what I was so scared of. Standing up for myself gave me the greatest pleasure, well almost the greatest. I had feared that they would dig into my shameful past, a past I was completely happy to walk away from.

Yet nothing had been done, nothing had been said. So I would continue to finish my senior year in peace, no boyfriends, no toxic friends. All I needed was myself and maybe even Adrien to keep me grounded.

My mind still lingered on the deaths that I had experienced in the past, that was nothing I could never escape from. The memories still clouded my mind, still created disturbances in my life, and I was worried that it would always be this way.

As I walked to my car after a tiresome school week, Annabelle approached me.

"I'm having small party this Saturday to celebrate the swim teams win of the season." Annabelle beamed. She was captain of the swim twin and had bragged to me about their amazing performances, I couldn't be happier for her. I smiled, happy for the proudness that seaped from my friend.

Annabelle looked like she wouldn't take no for an answer, I wouldn't have said no anyway.

"Of course, i'll arrive fashionably late as always." I exclaimed.

"Good, and you are welcome to bring a plus one." Annabelle winked before walking away.

I suppose I should know what she means. I didn't have anyone I would want to bring as a date to the swim teams party.

That was when I heard the familiar rumble of a motorbike. Adrien was already looking at me, waiting for my attention. He gave me a nod, his smirk settled on his lips before driving out of the school grounds.

When I arrived home, I found I was grateful for the week to be over. It was one more down till I could move from this small town and return to the city.

I grabbed a slice of cake and settled down in the living room. My phone dinged with a unique ringtone that warned me it was my mother.

I picked up my phone to find a message sitting there. I contemplated ignoring her at first, until I decided that if I wanted a stable relationship with her, I had to at least try.