All I Need

Chapter 22 - Self-Gradification

Kaia

I was right. He did want me to sit on his lap.

I did as I was told, lightly sitting on him so I didn't crush his thighs. He then shifted my body so that I was sitting in between his legs, facing the tv, making me a little more comfortable than before.

"I can help you sleep," he said. "If you give me permission to touch you."

"Permission?" I laughed, unaware that his statement wasn't some sort of joke. "Why are you asking? It's okay, just do it."

"Yes, permission," he repeated himself. "I have to know that you want it...do you want it?"

It took me a second to grasp that he was being serious. That he was just making sure he didn't do anything I didn't want him to, and something clicked in my head.

That was the first time a man had ever asked me for permission.

I knew it was the bare minimum, yet being the girl my father made me be for him, the men I slept with never asked. It was a given because I was there in the room with them, and they were paying me. Nobody cared about anything else.

The only other man I knew that was this considerate was Leonardo Vitale. We never had sex, but he was kind. He was caring, and I felt safe with him.

But Elias, I felt like he could save me.

Could he?

"I want it," I answered, suddenly feeling wide awake. "Touch me."

He responded by placing his hands on my shoulders and starting to slowly massage them. I closed my eyes and rested my back against his chest, trying to anticipate what he was going to do next.

Five minutes went by, and my excitement began to diminish. I thought he was going to touch me, not just touch me. I was fucking bored already.

"How is this going to help me sleep?" I questioned, twisting slightly so I could look at him. "Is this what you do with your friends? Massage each other's shoulders until you get tired?"

"I don't touch my friends like this, Kaia." he smiled, his gaze filled with something I easily recognized. "Nothing about this is friendly."

I turned away from him again, quickly glancing at the news channel that was playing on his tv. It was now almost 11 pm. "Go a little harder."

Elias did just that, pressing his thumbs into my back and applying more pressure. And even though I wasn't tired, it did feel nice. Alexander stressed me out so much, I honestly needed this.

What was I going to do about him anyway?

After all of this was done, would Alexander kill me? How would this end? I didn't even know what my father was planning. If he was going to kill Elias, or Alexander, or anyone at all for that matter. I was scared to call him. I didn't want to know what he was going to do. Whatever it was, I wouldn't be able to stop him.

And as much as I disliked Alexander at the moment, he was only looking out for his friend. I didn't want him to die. Elias needed his friend, I would never take that from him...even though I was willing to take everything else.

I just...I couldn't be at fault anymore. I already aided my father and Giuseppe in the destruction of the Vitale family two years ago.

I couldn't take anymore.

How could I fix everything?

"You're so tense," Elias spoke, breaking my train of thought. "Does this happen often? Not being able to fall asleep?"