The Russo Family

Chapter 10 - memories

TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND PANIC ATTACK!!!

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Sienna's POV

I was in the car with Luca, Angelo, enzo and em. Leo,carlos, teo and dad were in the car behind us. Great. I'm in the car with the hot-heads of the family. Why couldn't I go in the other car? I started to curse in my head as I leaned it against the window.

" SIENNA! ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? " luca screamed, making me jump.

Ang was glaring at me while Em had an emotionless expression plastered on his face. Enzo kept glancing at me through the window and furrowed his brows. I decided to not argue this time because I know they feel like I'm a burden to them, especially Luca. I turned to Luca and kept an expressionless face.

" What were you saying? ". I asked Luca. His face got redder by the second and his knuckles were turning white from how tight he was clenching his hand.

" WE WERE LOOKING FOR YOU ALL DAY AND WHEN WE FIND YOU, YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE A FUCKING SLUT AT A CLUB. We have lives too. We can't keep sacrificing shit for you when you're nothing, nothing but a spoilt bitch " He spat at me.

I don't know why but his words took a toll on me. The others didn't say anything but they were shooting daggers at Luca, but none of them said anything. I would've defended myself but I deep inside, i did see truth in his words. I am nothing. No one wants me. It's okay though, the only person i have is myself and that's okay. I tried to make myself feel better but at the end I just gave up.

I felt worthless and I know i sound really dramatic but that's how i really feel. Somehow, i felt the need to have approval from all my brothers. When I was homeless before, I heard many insults like this. The only way someone would give me money was if i fucked them. I only did it twice before i felt too disgusted with myself. Thankfully, ryd showed up the day after that, taking me under his wing. So yeah, i did feel like a slut but there wasn't any other way then. I muttered a sorry to him before looking out the window.

Tears pricked my eyes as a tear slid down my cheek. Before anyone could notice, i quickly wiped it off. Wow, this is the first time i shed a tear in 2 years. A memory played in my head as i drifted off to sleep.

The memory:

" WHERE IS MY MONEY LIVIA? WHERE IS IT? i DIDN'T RAISE YOU LIKE THIS! " mum yelled at me right before slapping my cheek. 

I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek as I rubbed it, trying to get rid of the burning sensation. I kept apologising to her, with tears running down my face. I was bawling my eyes out. I tried to explain what happened but she never let me speak.

1 hour ago...

I was walking back home from Jas's house and I saw something that broke my heart too pieces. I saw 3 teenagers beating up an old homeless man. They took the money from his cup and split it amongst themselves. They were laughing at the misery of the man. How can someone even live with themselves after doing this?

Before I could even do anything, the tallest guy punched the man's eye before running away. The old man was helplessly laying on the ground as there was a pile of blood beneath him. He started to cry really badly. I quickly rushed over to him with tears leaving my eyes. I couldn't control it.

When i came to him, he flinched as if I was gonna lay a hand on him. I felt angry and I wanted to kill those stupid teenagers. I had a small first aid kit in my bag so i took it out. I raised my hands to show that i wanted to help him. He looked at me gratefully and nodded.