The Russo Family

Chapter 30 - Fucked up

TW: SELF HARM!

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Sienna's POV:

" So my dear nipote, there will be a party tomorrow to celebrate the mafia princess's return. " Grandpa started.

" And before you say anything, I took care of your dress so don't worry " Sara included.

" Everyone will be there including the American Mafia and the Spanish mafia " Dad interjected.

Uhm wow. The universe has a special vendetta against me huh. How many more people do I have to meet. My antisocial ass says no.

" Oh uh cool. " I didn't know what to say.

" The tests will be conducted the day after the party, so don't drink anything " Enzo said with a warning look on his face.

I rolled my eyes at him and dug into my pasta. Of course I'm going to fucking drink. I looked around to find Rio missing. Furrowing my eyebrows, I asked dad where he was.

" He's on a mission tonight Mia Figlia. But he'll be here tomorrow for the party. " he replied.

After that, dinner went by pretty smoothly. Everyone was engaged in their own conversations. I ate silently, wishing Rio was here. Whenever I looked up, I would receive death glares from Antonio and Alessio. I rolled my eyes and continued eating.

Once everyone was done eating, we made our way into the living room. Sara and Noah had to leave after dinner because it has been days since they've been home. Grandpa, Dad, Enzo and Stefano went into the study to talk about the mafia I'm presuming. All my brothers except Teo and Leo went to the game room to play video games. Teo, Leo, Daniel and Marco were busy raiding the kitchen. Fucking pigs.

So, now I'm stuck with Antonio and Alessio. Fucking perfect. They were looking at their phones so I decided to watch a movie on the TV. As soon as I grabbed the remote, Alessio snatched it from my hand. Antonio just chuckled. The fuck?

" Not watching a fucking chick-flic " Alessio grumbled.

" Who said I was gonna watch a chick-flic? " I raised my eyebrow.

" What else would you watch? You're a girl and a spoilt rich brat " Antonio rolled his eyes.

I clenched my fists. Don't lose control Sienna. Keep quiet. Don't react. You're a bad bitch and you're definitely not a spoilt rich brat. I gave myself a pep talk in my mind.

" Yeah, you broke this family apart. If you were never born, this family wouldn't be so fucked up right now. " Alessio spat out.

Control Sienna. cont- you know what? Fuck this. 

" Is your ass ever jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth? " I coldly chuckled.

I obviously hit a nerve because both of them immediately clenched their jaws. They deserve it anyways so I kept going.

" Is that the way you treat your own blood? " Antonio coldly said.

" Oh, you don't like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck " I said as I flipped them off.

I got up from the couch and decided to go to my room. But before I could even take the first step, someone grabbed my wrist. I looked back to see Alessio grabbing my wrist tightly. To be honest, it hurt a lot but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction. I darkly chuckled before I faced him.

" Let go of my hand before I cut yours off " I said with a menacing voice.

" Are you threatening me? " He spat.

" Why? Do you feel threatened? " I smirked.

He gave me a death glare and applied more pressure on my wrist. I heard a crack. He definitely broke it. How the fuck did he break it with just one hand? Definitely have to learn that for future references.

" ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING? " Alessio roared.

" Nah, you're boring " I simply said.

By now, his face was red from anger. He pushed me to the nearest wall, making my head bang on it. He took long strides towards me. But before he could do anything, I roundhouse kicked him making his head bang on the wall.  I quickly wrapped my hand around his throat and looked into his eyes with a deadly look that could kill.

" I didn't break this family apart. Our family is fucked up because of numerous reasons. But I'm not one of them. And also I'm not a spoilt rich brat. I never lived in a mansion and I didn't always get three meals. Mum and I had to work many jobs just to keep a roof on top of our heads unlike you. If anything, YOU are the spoilt rich bitch. I had to work hard day and night for everything unlike you. Guess what? Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list " I yelled in his face.

His face was emotionless but his eyes told me a different story. They were swirling with many emotions. More specifically, Guilt. What I didn't notice was that we had an audience, and they watched everything.

I let go of Alessio and turned around. Everyone was here. I didn't know I was that loud. That's what she said. Shut up. 

Fuck how am I going to explain this now. Anger was still coursing through my veins so I had a deadly glare on my face. 

The pain from my broken wrist suddenly shot up making my eyes widen. I didn't want to cause a scene so I just covered it with my sleeve. For some reason, whatever Alessio said did affect me. I mean he wasn't lying. I did break this family apart. If only I was never born. 

Grandpa walked towards us and glared at Alessio and Antonio. It even sent chills down my spine. I was honestly surprised that he took my side. He grabbed their shirts and pushed them to the study. 

I looked at my brothers and they had a sad expression on their face when they looked at me. I don't need their fucking pity. I didn't really plan on telling them this. Chaz and Luca took a step towards me as I took a step back.

" It's pretty late. I'm gonna go sleep " I gave them a tight smile.

I could hear Dad trying to object but I ran up the stairs and went to my room. I slammed my door and locked it. 2 years ago I had no problem controlling my emotions but now I'm an emotional wreck.

All these feelings felt very overwhelming. Mum's words constantly replayed in my mind. Luca's words and Alessio's words didn't help. I ruin everything. I'm just a fucking burden to everyone. If only I wasn't born.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I went to my bedside drawer and grabbed the paper bag in there. I found my blunts and a lighter. I grabbed both and went to the balcony. I slid down the wall and looked at the the view. I lit up my blunt and took a long drag. 

I exhaled it and almost felt better. Keyword being : almost.  I slowly brought the blunt to my inner thigh. I flipped the blunt so that the burning side faced my thigh. Slowly, I pressed it against my skin. I felt my skin burn but I didn't remove it. I smiled, tears rolling down my face.

I burnt myself a few times before I threw it away. I put the lighter back in the paper bag and kept it in my drawer. I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

When did I become so fucked up?

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I'm gonna cry. That was really sad. 

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~ author ;)))