Tyed

chapter fifty nine

Tyler's pretty sure he said clearly, "my mum could tell Scarlett that her kids are by her own father, that's what."

But Nancy tilts her head in confusion, as though those words don't make sense. Tyler feels something in his chest that might be pain or regret, but he's just observing it, not really feeling it, so he can't be sure. He doesn't want to be in this moment.

"Scarlett's dad? Wait, what?"

Tyler hides his head in his hands. The thing is, he doesn't know what to say. He has nothing to say. How is he meant to clarify? He couldn't tell her beforehand, he can't tell her any better now just because he technically already has.

"Wait, Tyler- wait, no, don't turn away." Her hand is on his arm, trying to pull his hands away to see his face- but every touch feels like needles into his skin, and he jerks away from her hands. "I seriously- are you okay? What's wrong?"

He tries to hide, but there's nowhere to hide- so he's just standing there, hands over his eyes, waiting for her to understand.

There's a long silence. "Tyler?"

He finally looks at her.

"I genuinely- I genuinely don't understand what you just said. Are you saying Scarlett is- is like your sister? Is that what you..."

"No," he says, and he's not sure what gives him the power to say it, but the next words come out deadpan and simple. His hands fall. He suddenly doesn't fucking care. "My mum is my sister."

He sees exactly what he expects, and he's numb to it. Nancy's face screws up in disgust. "Oh, Jesus," she remarks, "fucking gross. Your dad-" she pauses, and the sneer in her lip twitches, pulls up, like she's unable to think. "I thought I hated your dad already, but-"

She retches slightly. Tyler wonders if she'll ever want to associate with him again.

"Your dad is an awful man," she blurts quickly, and Tyler wonders when she started hugging him. "I'm sorry."

"I know he's an awful man," Tyler remarks, confused as to this whole tone. Wasn't she just disgusted?

"I can't believe I didn't already know this, but like, it's not like I expected you to tell me that. Are you alright? You seem really super tense."

"I didn't want you to be disgusted by me," Tyler says, so quiet it barely comes out.

The hug suddenly begins crushing him. "Oh, no, no, Ty, not you! It's not your fucking fault!" She laughs like it's absurd. "You're not disgusting, you didn't do anything. What's not your fault can't be blamed on you. It was something done to you that was awful and disgusting, I wasn't- it wasn't you."

Tyler lets a shuddering breath escape. "And what if you were having sex with me, huh? You'd be disgusted then."

It's clear Nancy hasn't thought when she answers, "of course I wouldn't!" because she immediately adds, "oh, shit, that's what you're keeping from Colby. Oh fuck."

"I keep being told he won't care," Tyler says, "but I definitely think he will."

"Well- you keep being told?" Nancy looks at him as she steps back. "Who- who knows if I didn't?"