Tyed

chapter fourteen

Tyler waits patiently for three whole fucking days, and it feels like every hour drags on. He listens to music and every song makes him think about Colby, and it itches at the back of his mind no matter what he's doing.

He messages Lachlen to talk about Colby Monday night, and he's able to bring up the whole "BDSM" thing, trying to play it off like he's simply asking about Lachlen's life and not searching for his opinion on things.

Tyler: I remember you mentioned the club was for, like, BDSM or something. How's your relationship different with that guy from how it'd be otherwise?

Lachlen: do you know what bdsm is?

Tyler: well yes but also no.

Lachlen: is this about Colby?

Tyler: well no but also yes.

Why is everyone so observant, Tyler wonders? Or is it just that obvious to everyone but him?

Tyler: well, I do want to hear about your life, it's just that it might also help with mine.

Lachlen: so tell me what happened.

Tyler recounts the briefest of details, running Lachlen through what happened without diving into the details. He tells him that there was a charity event they left early, without mentioning everything else that made that whole experience notable.

Tyler: look, long story short we had sex and it was kind of kinky and I liked that, and then he told me in the morning that he wanted to be like. Properly kinky and I have no idea if I want it or not. How do I know?

Lachlen is typing...

Tyler expects a long answer to be waiting for him, but Lachlen deletes and rewrites a few times before sending:

Lachlen: have you tried one of those things where it's like, you get a list of stuff and you have to rate how into it you are? Here

He sends a link, and it leads Tyler to an Excel spreadsheet with a list of things that Tyler only half understands all down one side. Some of them make complete sense- like "bondage", sure- and others, he figures he'll have to google. They're all fancy terms like "asphyxophilia" that Tyler's never heard of and is frankly scared to know.

Lachlen: sometimes it just helps to have stuff itemised and to think through everything like this. Colby's not going to want to do all of it of course, some of its weird and specific but maybe you'll find what you want to do, idk

Lachlen: my answers for this stuff are a huge mess so don't feel too weird if you're kind of a freak like we've all been there

Tyler doesn't know what that means and isn't quite interested in learning just yet.

Tyler: thank you, I'ma do this now and see if it helps. If you want we can meet up later in the week to talk? I missed you dude

Lachlen: I'm booked out until Friday but if that's good for you sure!

So Tyler works through the list. He has a few choices for each one, depending on the number he gives it: one for "no way in hell", two for "I'd do it but I don't like it", three for "maybe", four for "I think I'd like it" and five for "hell yeah". Some things go straight to ones easily enough- he'd rather die than do that daddy roleplay shit, no shade to the people who liked it, and some things were just gross- as soon as he googled "coprophilia"* he slammed a one next to that and figured he'd have to delete his search history later. Again, no shade, it just horrified him personally.

The number of threes was kind of embarrassing, and the only thing worse was the number of fours, and hell, fives. When he did look up "asphyxophilia", he took a long moment to stare at the definition before slowly reaching up and feeling the skin of his neck, thinking. He doesn't try and choke himself, but he does imagine what it might feel like for Colby's hand to be there instead of his own, and something in his stomach flips. He puts a four and shudders at that fact.