Tyed

chapter forty

Tyler always feels at home walking up the stairs to Colby's house. His reality is changing, and he's not used to it just yet, but he's getting there. He's reeling from what he learned about himself just today, what he's forced to stop running away from.

He thinks it to himself, closing his eyes. He loves Colby.

He felt the spark from the moment that they locked eyes. He sort of knew that he was in love every time it nearly slipped out. Often, his mouth comes to conclusions before his brain does. He just struggles to think of when it happened.

He wasn't in love the first time they fucked. It wasn't that kind of deal. He wasn't in love on that date, the day they went out for dinner and Tyler casually freaked out. He was already in love when he found out they were co-arsonists.

He triangulates. He started falling in love when he went, drunk as hell, to Colby's house instead of his own, thinking of it as his. Colby cleaned him up, looked after him, and took him to Trey's in the morning. He had finished falling in love by the time of his punishment, when he'd ended up crying and clutching Colby's chest, afraid of change. It was probably that moment- when Colby held him after that- that Tyler fell in love.

Tyler was afraid of change. His last love didn't end so well, and he doubted this would be much better.

Tyler must be an awful person. He went through so much as a child, and every time he thought things were better, his suffering would return tenfold. Losing Colby was going to hurt, and it was going to happen.

"So," Colby says once they're up the stairs. Tyler turns to look at him. "How do you feel, in terms of what you want to do? We can relax and do nothing. Or we can do something kinky. I'm giving you the choice, depending on how you feel."

Tyler takes him in. Colby Blake. A CEO and a rich man who was dating a young, pretty, broke student. Divorced and a father of a dead child. An arsonist. A man with a perfect memory, and a kind manner despite his sadistic nature that he refused to truly give into. Estranged from his family. Living alone in a three-bedroom apartment. Gentle, strong, loving, intelligent, caring. His boyfriend, his sugar daddy, his master, his love- which was the truest word?

I feel like I love you. "I could go either way," Tyler says, cheeks red. "I guess, um... the kinky stuff, maybe?"

Colby smiles, a slight uptick of his mouth. Tyler's realisation just feels like another secret he has to keep. He can't very well go saying he loves him less than two weeks in, can he? "Sounds good," Colby says. "Take your clothes off, then. And get your collar."

Tyler heads upstairs to do just that. As he takes his phone out of his pocket, he decides to make the dangerous decision to admit what he's just learned. Not to Colby. Of course not to Colby. He's not sure if he'll ever be able to admit that.

He sends a text to Nancy. Code Red. I think I fucking love Colby. I'm serious.

He puts his phone down on top of his pile of clothes, and replaces his day collar with his proper collar. The weight around his neck is comforting, familiar. It burns the same words he can't stop thinking about into his brain. He loves Colby. His stupid, idiot self loves Colby.

He heads back downstairs, and his emotions are... a mess. Tyler casually observes them from the outside. Anticipation of what's going to happen soon, and a good degree of excitement about it. Apprehension at the knowledge that this has got to, must be temporary. Sadness at the knowledge that he loves Colby and there isn't shit he can do about that; and it's only sad because it's going to end.

There is, of course, that swell of love that Tyler recognises when he sees Colby downstairs. Colby's arms cross, and the corner of his mouth tilts in a little smile he probably doesn't even realise he's doing as he takes Tyler in. His eyes are so soft and warm. They're yellow, as Tyler's always felt, but one day they went from the gaze of a hungry wolf to the flicker of a fire just beginning, the gentle warmth that can only grow from then on.