Tyed

chapter twenty seven

Tyler's continually closer to telling Colby that his genetics are completely fucked every time he reveals a piece of fucked up information and Colby takes it in stride. He's not ready for that, yet, though. Not even close. He knows everything will implode the second he mentions it.

Colby does, however, make good on his promise to take Tyler out shopping, and Tyler appreciates that he gets to experience such a simple thing as that. Colby doesn't ask, but he seems to understand- correctly- that Tyler's never had much money. The nicest thing Tyler's ever owned was given to him for a birthday present by Nancy when he was seventeen. It's a forty dollar hoodie. Actually, scratch that- the little metal pseudo-collar he wears around his throat is probably worth more.

"You seem nervous," Colby comments as they're pulling up to a major shopping centre that Tyler's always been aware of, but never visited. Too rich for his blood. "Can I ask why?"

Truthfully, it's because Tyler's keeping a fucking secret and he knows things can only get worse. Whatever joy he manages to get from this will be temporary, until this happiness is broken. "It's just the stuff with my dad," he half-lies. "I'm afraid that it'll ruin things with you."

They step out of the car, and as Tyler's rounding the car to talk to Colby, Colby's doing the same, meeting him in the middle in front of it. "Now why," Colby says, lifting Tyler's chin up with his hand and catching Tyler's breath in his throat, "would that be the case?"

Tyler shrugs, leaning up to try and kiss Colby. Colby backs away for just a moment, and as Tyler pouts in a bratty annoyance, Colby grins and gives in, kissing him more fervently than Tyler expected.

"Come on," Colby says, brushing the hair out of Tyler's face. "Let's go."

Tyler's happy to follow, taking Colby's lead. The sliding glass doors of the shopping centre open to let them through, and they enter into a huge air-conditioned area with white marble floors and a roof made of thick, tinted glass. Tyler tentatively takes Colby's hand, uncertain as to how such public displays of affection will go, but Colby seems almost happier at the realisation that Tyler's doing that.

Tyler looks down at his hand as he realises that he just did that.

He's dated since Kevin, but still, physical affection is unlike him. Still, he doesn't let go.

He feels like he should deny the reality of how strongly he seems to feel for Colby, because by all accounts, it doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense. This isn't how perfect loves work, this isn't what this should be about- Tyler should be fucking this guy for money. At the very least, he should be faking this romantic interest. He shouldn't just be grabbing this guy's hand out of nowhere.

That's when Tyler realises that Colby's most likely just in this for the sex, at least to some degree. Maybe he can change it, maybe it will change, and Tyler's all about the sex too, but... somehow, it all feels wrong to say it's only about sex. Tyler's... upset that it might not go beyond that.

He forces that feeling down, determined to enjoy himself. Colby smiles at him, and Tyler tries to convince himself that it's not just sex. It can certainly go beyond sex, Tyler thinks to himself, seeing that smile.

It's been a week, Tyler thinks, and he doesn't know whether he's supposed to be catching feelings or not. He decides not to think about it.

"So," Colby says, "I don't know where you want to go, but anywhere is fine. The budget is pretty much nonexistent, for what you could get."

"I, uh." Tyler's hardly thinking, but when he realises he's being asked to make a decision, he short-circuits. He doesn't even know his choices. "I wouldn't know where to go for anything. What are we... looking for?"