Growing up as a half-Elven half-Asgardian was never easy on Alexandrya. Her mother died five years after she was born and her father didn't give a rats ass about her. Luckily for Alexandrya, she had two best friends to help her out. That is until he...
A friend. Why did that word disappoint me as much as it did?
A/N: anything in sign language will be marked like this: *word*
1st Person POV (Alexandrya)
It was now afternoon. Nat and I spent this morning sitting in my bed talking about our pasts. She told me all about the Red Room and how she eventually joined SHEILD, and I told her the parts that Thor and Loki hadn't told the team about my growing up on Asgard.
"Oh, I forgot to mention earlier but today we're leaving back to New York." She told me.
"Oh, well have fun. I'll miss you." The sadness was threatening to overflow. I didn't want them to leave. Not yet. Then Nat laughed.
"You're coming too."
"I am?"
"Of course. There's no way you're staying here." I smiled. I wasn't ready for Bucky, Loki, Thor, and her to leave. Or any of them for that matter. I hadn't spent a lot of time with the rest of the team, but they all seem amazing.
I got up and went to my closet. Picking out an outfit, I walked into the bathroom to change.
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As I was changing, I heard Nat call to me,
"Hey, how would you feel about joining the Avengers?" I froze. Me? An Avenger?
I opened the door and walked out.
"I-I don't know. I mean, do I belong on the team? I haven't done any good in a while. I've killed a lot of people. I don't deserve -"
"No. Listen to me. What you did, wasn't you. It was HYDRA." She cut me off.
"But Nat, it was still me that killed them. It was still my hands."
"Then Bucky doesn't deserve it either?" I shook my head,
"Bucky deserves everything. He was brainwashed. Tortured. I wasn't controlled. My mind was still my own." I whispered the last part. I heard my door open and looked up. Bucky was there. Seeing my face, he came over.
"Doll, we both know that you had as little choice as I did. That collar didn't let you use your magic, it shocked you senseless any time they wanted it to, they hurt you. You deserve good. You don't have to join the team yet. Or ever if that's what you want. But don't deny yourself a happy life." He pulled me in for a hug.
I looked up and saw Steve in the doorway. I instantly felt a pang of guilt. Bucky was Steve's boyfriend. Bucky should be by him, not me. I gently pulled myself out of the hug, not missing the slight hurt in Bucky's eyes at the rejection.
"Am I really allowed to go to New York with you?"
"Of course you are!" Steve answered.
"Let's pack your things up," Natasha said, shooing the boys out. We were able to pack my things in two medium-sized bags. I was grateful I hadn't bought that much on our shopping trip.
Natasha and I walked out to where the Quinjet was waiting. I put my things in a corner, trying to take up as little space as possible, and walked back out to the King.
"I apologize again for my actions upon arriving here. Thank you for allowing me to stay in your home and for helping me be rid of that collar." I knew he could hear the truth ringing in my voice. He just smiled and said,
"You are welcome in Wakanda any time." I smiled.
After bidding the Queen and Princess Shuri goodbye, I entered the Quinjet. I walked towards the seats and then turned. Those seats weren't for me. They were for Avengers. I walked over to my bags and sat by them. I curled up into the corner and tried to draw as little attention to myself as I could. I closed my eyes and waited for the ride to be over.
The rest of the team also finished their goodbyes and boarded. I could hear their footsteps as they entered. I could feel the vibrations and hear their voices. I kept my eyes closed until I felt a tap on my shoulder. Opening my eyes I saw the archer, Clint, in front of me.
"You know there are plenty of chairs. You can come and sit with us." His voice was kind. He was being serious. I nodded and stood up. I followed him to where the rest of the team was. He sat down and motioned for me to sit next to him.
As soon as I did, everyone turned to look at me. I hid my head in my knees.
"Hey. Back off guys. Give her some space." I heard Clint say. I felt all the stares disappear, every one of them. I looked up to tell him thanks, but found that I had no voice.
This happened to me a lot as a child. My depression would overtake me and I wouldn't be comfortable speaking. This would sometimes last for a week depending on how bad I felt, so my friends and I started to learn sign language. Out of habit, I signed
*Thank you.*Then I realized that he probably didn't sign. I was surprised when he signed back.
*You're welcome.*
*You can sign?*
*I can. I actually have 80% hearing loss, but Tony made me these hearing aids to help.*
*That's so cool! I started learning sign language when I was like 75.*
*Wait, 75? You look amazing for your age!*
*Oh, wait. That's around 2 in human years.*
*You started learning when you were 2? That's impressive!*
*I guess.*
*Do you mind if I ask why you learned it?*
*Not at all. I started learning sign because of my depression. Did Thor tell you how Odin and my father treated me?*
*Somewhat, but I got the impression that it wasn't very good.*
*Indeed. This plus the death of my mother made my depression really strong, sometimes to the point that I didn't feel comfortable enough to speak. These nonverbal periods could last anywhere from 1 minute to 1 week. My friends and I decided to learn sign language so I could still communicate with them.*
*That's nice of them. I'm assuming Thor and Loki were some of these friends?*
*They are indeed, but they weren't able to learn a whole lot. You know princely duties or whatever. I don't even know if they remember it.*
*Well, if you ever need someone to talk to - or not talk to - I'm always open.*
*Thank you, I appreciate it. I actually didn't think anyone here would be able to sign, I'm glad someone understands me.* I smiled at him.
*Actually, I'm not the only one who can sign. Nat also knows how.*
*Really?* He laughs,
*Yes really.*
I smiled. We went on talking until the jet landed. As we landed, I couldn't help but think to myself that maybe I had a chance at a better life.
A/N: That's Chapter 21! I really wanted to include Clint's hearing loss in the story. Other than that, I don't really have a whole lot to say. Hope you enjoyed!
