Sword Art Online - Alternative Reality

The Vice-commander and The Scout CHP.10

Having confessed the events of that night and my original thoughts for what would happen afterward, I was slumped over facing downwards, hands held together and placed on top of my knees. The entire time I was talking, Asuna hadn't said a single word, although it seemed she was on the verge of something a few times. Although at first, I looked her in the eyes, when it was all said and done I could barely keep myself from using my teleport crystal or trying to jump out of the balcony. Just what did she think of me now? Where could I run off to afterward? How would things turn out? Waiting for the end to come, we sat in silence for who knows how long, as I awaited my partner's, no former-partner now, reaction.

I heard her get up and begin moving around the coffee table towards me. I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands as I mentally prepared myself for the eventual cursing, but was completely shocked when she instead lifted my head, forcing me to look straight at her eyes, a burning light I was too familiar with within, and a stern look on her face, with something else hidden beneath.

"...You really are the world's biggest idiot..."

Having said that, she brought my head to her chest and began stroking the back of my head, something I recall her doing a long time ago, in the aftermath of the 5th-floor boss fight... what I didn't understand was why... why was she doing this?

"Even in the lower levels to this day, there are hardly any criminal guilds around ever since the rumor of how the first group to become one disappeared without a trace... maybe one or two attacks a week at most... and I had a feeling... I knew it was because you had done something... being the idiot you are, you decided to take on a burden that should have been everyone's to share..."

Pausing her stroking hand for a moment, she pulled my face back up to look into hers, her eyes wet as tears seemed ready to come out any second... was she really going to cry... for me? Why? What is wrong with her? Blinking the tears away, the fierce light returned to her eyes and she gave a powerful statement worthy of the vice-commander

"We were partners before, and we are still partners now. We agreed that we would share our burdens with one another... including our sins. Kirito... I can't force you to forgive yourself... but I can tell you this. You are not a monster, not a demon, and although your sanity is questionable at times, you are not like them. You fought to protect us... to protect me... just like you've been doing ever since we came to this world. Maybe things could have been different, but they made their choice, and you did the best you could... I'm not going to leave you...Kirito... so don't... don't you dare..."

With her voice cracking as she reached the end, she pushed my head back down and resumed stroking the back of my head.

Don't you dare leave me either.

Despite not saying those words, I felt as if I could hear them through her heart, through some other sort of connection, similar to the one we shared when we fought together...

Was this really alright? Did I really deserve this? Any of this? Could I really...stay with her...?

"I..."

Almost straddling me, Asuna wrapped her arms around me and embraced me, our heads touching each other's shoulders, her warmth thawing the portion of my heart that had been frozen ever since that day.

"You don't have to say anything... if you can't believe in yourself, then believe in me... after all, don't you always say I'm never wrong?"

Well, there's a first time for everything, not actually saying that thought out loud, I simply nodded, and sat there as my mind wandered from question to question, wondering if this was really alright, before finally succumbing to my ugly desires once more. If she was willing... then just for a bit longer... let these times continue...

Staying there for some time, I was surprised by Asuna for the hundredth time in the past few minutes, as a muffled voice came from my right shoulder

"...You could hug back you know..."

In my life, the only women I have ever hugged were my little sister, my mother, and Asuna in varying circumstances in where I mostly did it without thinking straight, some of which ended up with me getting one of her famous jabs straight into the gut. I didn't have a right to seek out more of her warmth, but if she was telling me to... Just how did a loner like me end up in a situation like this?

Reaching around I pulled Asuna closer to me, the warmth from her body seeming more like a blessing from the gods than just data being sent to my Nerve Gear, although I guess some would consider both to be the same thing. After a while, she finally pulled away and looked at me with glistening eyes and a gentle smile.

"We're partners, from here until the end. And no matter what, we share our burdens. Okay, Kirito?"

"...Yeah...alright..."

"Whatever we might come up against in the future, we take it on together. I won't forgive you if you go running off again to bear it all alone got it?"

"...Yes ma'am..."

I should have said more, shouldn't have agreed to potentially drag her into something that could end her life... but at this point, she would probably come chasing after me anyways... just what sort of luck stat did I roll to be partnered up with her? Getting off me, she put her hands on her hip as she switched gears to older sister mode.

"Now it's late. Go take a shower and brush your teeth and come back to bed immediately. No snacks, we have to wake up early tomorrow and receive reports from the other sub-commanders. But that doesn't mean rush, make sure you bathe and brush properly alright?!"

Was that really all necessary? And what did she mean 'we' have to receive reports, wasn't I still a scout? Sighing, I was about to stand up when she suddenly thrust her right finger at me,

"And don't even think about trying to go anywhere before you get my approval, got it!?"

"...Yes ma'am..."

"Good, now get to it, soldier!"

With a firm nod, she was about to disappear into the bedroom when she suddenly stopped and turned to face me again,

"Thank you... for telling me everything, Kirito... now hurry up, or I'll end up taking all of the blankets for myself."

With that, she disappeared into the bedroom before I could even complain about that last threat. Instead, I went into the bathroom and did what I was ordered to do, and in 10 minutes I was in my pajamas and after some, a lot, of hesitation, I went into our bedroom. Fortunately, it seemed her threat to leave me without a blanket was a bluff, and I slid into the right side, looking towards her to find her staring right at me, her hand outstretched, waiting for mine.

Despite everything, despite what I had done, she seemed to firmly believe that I was still the same on the inside... I don't think I'll ever have the right to forgive myself for that sin... but for now, as selfish as it is, I'll trust in Asuna's beliefs instead. Lying down and taking her left hand in my right, I looked back into her hazelnut brown eyes and said the words that came deep from my heart.

"Thank you... Asuna."

With a gentle, ever majestic smile, she squeezed my hand before closing her eyes to sleep. Returning it, I followed her example and left my conscience to begin to drift away. I don't know how much longer she will accept me being at her side... but I will do everything in my power to make sure I could stay there without ruining her shine.