𝘜𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥

13 | 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑉𝑒𝑟𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝

VALENTINA
~Matilda by Harry Styles

When I woke up, I was in my bed. A bandage was bandaged on my wound. I was wearing new clothes and there was no trace of blood. I straighten up slightly and felt a little pain.

The doctor was probably there. I got up and looked out the window. It was already dark. Everything was calm, with no loud music, no celebration noises, a normal quiet. I walked slowly into the bathroom and made ice-cold water all over my face.

I looked in the mirror. I looked at my lip, they are slightly swollen. It was split open, and a red line made it even clearer.

Through the reflection, I looked back and saw my open bag. I could see exactly the gift I wanted to give my siblings. I turned and looked at them.

I look at myself in the mirror again. Do we still want to do this? I took out every present. I packed Valerie and Valentin, but not Valerian's.

I knew what was important to him, but is it still like that? If the family is so important to him, then why did he bring me here? Why didn't he try to say something? I'm a real part of the mafia now, but was it really worth almost dying for it?

I opened the present. I made a photo album with the family for Valerian. On the first page, I saw the photo that I glued on. All five siblings of the Alvarez. In a picture and smile.

If you go on, you can see all the memories. We know that our life is not perfect and that we have many harbingers. Still, we made the best out of it.

We went to the museum and watch the works of art, secretly afterward we went to the Eiffel Tower. We took such beautiful pictures there.

Like the one with Valentin and me. I was just putting ice cream on his face, he didn't think it was funny at all and also gave me an angry look.

On the other one, Vera and Valerian were smiling and posing for a picture. Valentin and Valerie pretended to be carrying the Eiffel Tower, which looked really stupid.

How people looked at us as if we were just from the asylum, but we don't care because we enjoy the time together.

On another page, I saw my 10th birthday. I sat at the table with everyone except Father. But that was okay for me. Ivan came in with a huge cake that he made just for me, the topic was Mickey Mouse. I adored this cartoon.

Everyone smiles in the picture, and I looked so happy, we all did. I want to give my gifts, so much. I want us to understand each other no matter what. It doesn't matter if they didn't tell me, it doesn't matter. I just want to see my siblings and see them happy.

I took the presents and checked my watch. It's about midnight, which means they should be outside by now. I got up and left my room. I crept quietly through the corridors to get into the back garden. It was cold, and the snow covered the whole ground. The light made my view better. My bare feet get cold through the snow, but I didn't care. I just wanted to see them all.

So I stood there and waited. I am waiting for all three. But nobody came. After 10 minutes, I couldn't feel my feet anymore, but I just ignored it. I looked at the door every time I thought I was hearing something.

*
But no one came, everything I heard was just an illusion. "They won't come." I looked to the side and saw Vera standing next to me. "Why?" I looked at the presents in my trembling hands. "I think it's time to let go, Valentina. You have to see the reality."

"But I bought presents. I made the book for Valerian, with all of our memories." I try to smile because I needed for the book more than six whole days, besides the fact I didn't sleep the whole week for it. "That meant nothing." just like that. It's nothing.

"How can you say this?" I gazed at her. "I say what you think but don't want to say out loud because you're scared." my feet hurt. I look at them, slowly they get the color red.

"I'm not afraid." "You are still little Valentina. You think everything will be fine again. You hope so much that we will become the family you have wished for, but it will never happen that way. We all destroyed it too much." I hate what she says. She said exactly what I think deeply. I don't want to hear this.

"Stop it." I let the presents fall into the snow and covered my ears. "You look for love and affection from people who don't know how to love." "Please stop." I hear her even more clearly. "I'm dead. Father is a monster who tries everything to be in a good light himself and our siblings see after themselves to survive." please. She should stop.

"Please Vera stop." I cried and covered my ears harder, but I could hear every single word she said. It's the truth. I'm scared. I'm scared of reality, that everything she says is true. I want my siblings back, I want to feel real love from my family, I just want to be loved.

"Let go of me, Valentina. Drop everything, including hope in this family." I looked at her. "I don't want to. I can't." It can't be that these people with whom I've spent my entire life don't have a heart. That there is no real family. That they are all brutes who don't feel anything.

"As long as you don't let go, you will be sad, forever. Never be happy. You have to think about yourself." I shook my head. "Do it for you, do it for me." I lowered the hands from my ears. Then I looked at her.

"Then let me go, Vera" I cried and look at her. "You have to let me go." I don't want her to go. Vera was only an imagination, but she helped me. She showed up and showed me how honest I can be with myself. "I'll miss you." I closed my eyes and felt a tear leave my eyes. When I opened my eyes, Vera was gone. As if she were never with me for the last five years.

"Me too." I picked up the presents and walked to our little river that was by the garden. Then I threw all the presents in. Vera is right, I have to think of myself. I have to give up the hope of becoming a beautiful family for always. So I went back into my room. Then I wrote an email to my father that I got an assignment and why I have to go.

I packed everything that was left in my room in my car and drove away. Will I ever come back? I don't know. But what I know is that I have to leave the family behind. So I went to a motel to sleep there. My shoulders and thighs still hurt. The wound from my acceptance into the family is burning like crazy and itches.

I took my bag and went to the front desk. "Hello, how can I help you?" "A room for one night, please." I saw exactly how the woman's gaze went to my bandage and lip. But then she turned around to avoid eye contact.

"Room 103, good night." I nodded, took the key, and went out to look for my room. It was very easy, so I quickly walked into my room and put my bag on the one bed. I made it to take pills for the pain.

I took a shower and then held a t-shirt on my burn moistened with ice-cold water. I rummaged around in my bag for a new bandage for the other wounds when a small present came into my eyes. It was what Jayden gave me. Didn't I put it in my closet? But he said I should unpack it on Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Valentina." I sat down on my bed and slowly unpacked it. I couldn't say what it was yet, but then I opened the flat but wide box.

I saw the necklace I saw the day I was at the jewelry store with Jayden. One silver chain with a single diamond stone was distributed.

But how did he know? And why? I had no words. It was beautiful. I put the box aside and got up. Then I went to the mirror and put the chain around my neck. It was tight but perfect.

I love it. The individual diamonds and the silver. Even if Christmas wasn't as I had imagined, I still got such a present. I wouldn't care when he would give me a more simple thing, but I'm happy I got it.